There are so many things that I yearn for...
So many things that I am scared of...
No one will truly understand anyone else's
actions or words...
We say what we want and we do what we feel
needs to be done...
At times we do neither...
I need love...
straightforward...
straight from the heart...
crazy...
long-term...
perfectly imperfect...
LOVE.
It's the only thing that is going to save me...
xSigned___JNF. ♥
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Dear you.
Dear you,
At first I was angry, very angry and resented. I was confused
and forlorn. I said everything that came to my mind, no matter
how hurtful those things were. I wrote things down, I wrote things
about you, about me, about us. As time went on my anger subsided,
my confusion didn't however. Never did I once tell you that I would
be all that you wanted but you still leaped for me, did the
imaginable for me, loved me. I learned the reason why we tore
eachother apart. I've been learning to cope with it also. But I
can't anymore because I know deep down if things would have been
different me and you would have still been one. And that bothers me,
it bothers me alot. But things weren't different, and we fought a
battle to at the end loose it. I know you win some and then you loose
some but I always wondered why did this specific battle, after 3 yrs.
of an on-going fight, did we have to loose it? I never have loved
someone the way I loved you. Everday day of my life for the past 9
months I have been asking the same questions over and over again,
WHY? Why us? Why me? Why you? What was the point of our love?
What was the lesson? Shouldn't there be something in the midst of
all this pain? Some type of hidden message that I should have known
by now? The only thing I want out of all of this is a second chance
to make things right and if things go left I know then that me and
you weren't made for eachother and that my questions would finally
be answered. I wouldn't have to sit here and ask myself, 'what if?'
every second of everyday. So young and already damaged by love....<|3
Sincerely, xSigned___JNF. ♥
At first I was angry, very angry and resented. I was confused
and forlorn. I said everything that came to my mind, no matter
how hurtful those things were. I wrote things down, I wrote things
about you, about me, about us. As time went on my anger subsided,
my confusion didn't however. Never did I once tell you that I would
be all that you wanted but you still leaped for me, did the
imaginable for me, loved me. I learned the reason why we tore
eachother apart. I've been learning to cope with it also. But I
can't anymore because I know deep down if things would have been
different me and you would have still been one. And that bothers me,
it bothers me alot. But things weren't different, and we fought a
battle to at the end loose it. I know you win some and then you loose
some but I always wondered why did this specific battle, after 3 yrs.
of an on-going fight, did we have to loose it? I never have loved
someone the way I loved you. Everday day of my life for the past 9
months I have been asking the same questions over and over again,
WHY? Why us? Why me? Why you? What was the point of our love?
What was the lesson? Shouldn't there be something in the midst of
all this pain? Some type of hidden message that I should have known
by now? The only thing I want out of all of this is a second chance
to make things right and if things go left I know then that me and
you weren't made for eachother and that my questions would finally
be answered. I wouldn't have to sit here and ask myself, 'what if?'
every second of everyday. So young and already damaged by love....<|3
Sincerely, xSigned___JNF. ♥
Monday, August 2, 2010
Subtlety.
(By the way these are my religious views!
I'm not trying to force them unto anyone
or offend anyone!)
This reminds me so much of God.
When I read this a couple of minutes
ago everything in me said GOD. I feel
that sometimes we might doubt God or
wonder where God might be in some instances
but let me just tell you all that
A LITTLE FAITH GOES A LONGGGGG WAY....!
God will never leave you stranded or alone.
God will never forsake you nor mistreat you.
And no matter how many times you break his
heart he will never cease loving you.
Just remember to go looking for him everyday
of your life. When you're happy, vulnerable,
lonely, in need of guidance, any need you
may have or any good news you might want to
share go direct yourself to the only best friend
you have that has stood by you ever since the day
you were an embryo. He loves you powerfully,
truthfully, and faithfully; no matter what.
Listen closely and silence the resistance
and doubt of your mind if you want to hear Me
I am the calm beneath the chaos of your mind
And speak only in whispers
Let go and feel with all your heart if you want to touch Me
I cannot feel you
If you are afraid to feel me
See Me in the most unfavorable of circumstances
I do not show myself
Where you already feel comfort
Stop and smell how beautiful life is in every circumstance
My fragrance can only please you
If you are looking for it
Taste Me even when you have nothing to eat
For I alone can sustain you
Through whatever may come
Look off the beaten path to find me
For I do not dwell in the terrain that is already known
I am the subtle behind the obvious
And the peace beyond the chaos
I am the bringer of all things
And the doer of all deeds
I am the wind at your back
And the light of your soul
I am the love that's within you
And the love that's trying to find you
I'll give you all your hearts desire
All you have to do
Is let me in
Be brave and see what happens
I'll be waiting for you to begin
xSigned___JNF. ♥
I'm not trying to force them unto anyone
or offend anyone!)
This reminds me so much of God.
When I read this a couple of minutes
ago everything in me said GOD. I feel
that sometimes we might doubt God or
wonder where God might be in some instances
but let me just tell you all that
A LITTLE FAITH GOES A LONGGGGG WAY....!
God will never leave you stranded or alone.
God will never forsake you nor mistreat you.
And no matter how many times you break his
heart he will never cease loving you.
Just remember to go looking for him everyday
of your life. When you're happy, vulnerable,
lonely, in need of guidance, any need you
may have or any good news you might want to
share go direct yourself to the only best friend
you have that has stood by you ever since the day
you were an embryo. He loves you powerfully,
truthfully, and faithfully; no matter what.
Listen closely and silence the resistance
and doubt of your mind if you want to hear Me
I am the calm beneath the chaos of your mind
And speak only in whispers
Let go and feel with all your heart if you want to touch Me
I cannot feel you
If you are afraid to feel me
See Me in the most unfavorable of circumstances
I do not show myself
Where you already feel comfort
Stop and smell how beautiful life is in every circumstance
My fragrance can only please you
If you are looking for it
Taste Me even when you have nothing to eat
For I alone can sustain you
Through whatever may come
Look off the beaten path to find me
For I do not dwell in the terrain that is already known
I am the subtle behind the obvious
And the peace beyond the chaos
I am the bringer of all things
And the doer of all deeds
I am the wind at your back
And the light of your soul
I am the love that's within you
And the love that's trying to find you
I'll give you all your hearts desire
All you have to do
Is let me in
Be brave and see what happens
I'll be waiting for you to begin
xSigned___JNF. ♥
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Last time I saw my heart.
I haven't been on this for idk like 3 days and that's bad =/
So many things have been happening in my life...some bad
some good. My mind is everywhere at once and my emotions
are going for the ride with my mind. Seems to me like it's
been an endless array of tiresome things and I dislike the
fact that people close to me are making me feel this way.
Nevertheless that's life right? The people you love most
are the ones that can make you feel amazingly great one day
and can completely destroy you the next day. I don't think this
is a fair thing but once again that's life and life isn't fair.
It takes people out of your life that aren't suppose to be taken,
it makes you cry, it makes you happy, it makes you want to run
away. It puts people in your life that only bring negativity, it
puts people in your life that make you smile; it does all these
great and bad things all at the same time yet we have to keep
ourselves completely sane through it all. *SIGHHHHH*
Another thing, it's one thing to love and be loved back but it's
a COMPLETELY different thing to not love and expect to be loved
back....
xSigned___JNF. ♥
So many things have been happening in my life...some bad
some good. My mind is everywhere at once and my emotions
are going for the ride with my mind. Seems to me like it's
been an endless array of tiresome things and I dislike the
fact that people close to me are making me feel this way.
Nevertheless that's life right? The people you love most
are the ones that can make you feel amazingly great one day
and can completely destroy you the next day. I don't think this
is a fair thing but once again that's life and life isn't fair.
It takes people out of your life that aren't suppose to be taken,
it makes you cry, it makes you happy, it makes you want to run
away. It puts people in your life that only bring negativity, it
puts people in your life that make you smile; it does all these
great and bad things all at the same time yet we have to keep
ourselves completely sane through it all. *SIGHHHHH*
Another thing, it's one thing to love and be loved back but it's
a COMPLETELY different thing to not love and expect to be loved
back....
xSigned___JNF. ♥
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Beautiful girls all over the world...
Almost two months without talking to you and tonight you called.
I couldn't believe my eyes. My heart skipped a couple of beats
and I started to kind of shake. A huge smile slowly crept on my face.
We somewhat updated eachother about our lives. You told me you had
been thinking about me that's why you called. We hung up and so
many memories seeped in and replayed in my head. I'm sitting here
smiling. Wishing time could speed up to the day where I get to see
you again.
These are the things that give me a little more hope.
These are the things that confuse me.
These are the things that make me wonder about God's
plan with us. Maybe his plan is done, his mission complete.
Or maybe it has just begun, maybe this is just the beginning
of us. Maybe what we went through was a test to see what we
really wanted, to make us stronger.
Or maybe I'm just kidding myself. Maybe I'm just reading
in between the lines too much. Maybe this is all in my head.
Maybe one day I will see what truly is and what truly isn't.
Until then I'll wonder and hope that you are the one for me.
xSigned___JNF. ♥
I couldn't believe my eyes. My heart skipped a couple of beats
and I started to kind of shake. A huge smile slowly crept on my face.
We somewhat updated eachother about our lives. You told me you had
been thinking about me that's why you called. We hung up and so
many memories seeped in and replayed in my head. I'm sitting here
smiling. Wishing time could speed up to the day where I get to see
you again.
These are the things that give me a little more hope.
These are the things that confuse me.
These are the things that make me wonder about God's
plan with us. Maybe his plan is done, his mission complete.
Or maybe it has just begun, maybe this is just the beginning
of us. Maybe what we went through was a test to see what we
really wanted, to make us stronger.
Or maybe I'm just kidding myself. Maybe I'm just reading
in between the lines too much. Maybe this is all in my head.
Maybe one day I will see what truly is and what truly isn't.
Until then I'll wonder and hope that you are the one for me.
xSigned___JNF. ♥
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Love will do the rest.
Love will do the rest
by Mastin Kipp
Beginnings are never easy
So much is still unknown
So many desires seeking fulfillment
Collide with the patient trust that
Everything is as it should be
Love does not rush
No masterpiece ever does
You do not plant the seed of a rose in the morning
And ask it to blossom by the afternoon
Lust is the first one in
And the first one out
But love...
Love is cool, calm and collected
It plays tricks on you to keep you honest
Love is a patient comedian
Who helps you to get over the fearful ego
So you have the fearlessness to BE with yourself and another
I do not ask for easy beginnings
Because I know that the One meant for me will stick
With no effort on my behalf
There is no striving for love
There is no convincing love to stay
There is just you
Your fearlessness
And trust...
Love will do the rest
One day just the two of us it will be.
I am just patiently waiting for this day
to come. I know it will come, I just know it.
xSigned___JNF. ♥
by Mastin Kipp
Beginnings are never easy
So much is still unknown
So many desires seeking fulfillment
Collide with the patient trust that
Everything is as it should be
Love does not rush
No masterpiece ever does
You do not plant the seed of a rose in the morning
And ask it to blossom by the afternoon
Lust is the first one in
And the first one out
But love...
Love is cool, calm and collected
It plays tricks on you to keep you honest
Love is a patient comedian
Who helps you to get over the fearful ego
So you have the fearlessness to BE with yourself and another
I do not ask for easy beginnings
Because I know that the One meant for me will stick
With no effort on my behalf
There is no striving for love
There is no convincing love to stay
There is just you
Your fearlessness
And trust...
Love will do the rest
One day just the two of us it will be.
I am just patiently waiting for this day
to come. I know it will come, I just know it.
xSigned___JNF. ♥
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The mirror of our hearts.
The Mirror of Our Hearts
By Mastin Kipp
I have traveled far
And followed my Heart with every step
I have learned discernment through being cheated
I have learned forgiveness through betrayal
I have learned to love myself through abandonment
I have created wealth by not needing more than I have
And I have found Love by leaving a vulnerable space
That only it could fill
This path I have taken has not been easy
The twists, the turns, the lessons and burns
Each of them have been perfect
Not easy
But perfect
My Heart has lead me into and through the dark night
And guided me to the safe havens of friends who I've known for many lives
Each step, each hint, each intuition has brought me closer to Love
I do not regret
I do not blame
I do not look back in shame
I am only grateful for the gift of being no longer afraid
And now that I have found myself
I am ready to find you
We have known each other before
But not in this Life
We will meet where we deserve to meet
Staring into the mirror of our Hearts
And remaining when others have run away
I still have lots to travel.
I still have lots to gain.
I still have lots of failing & getting up to do.
I still have lots to learn.
However, this describes my journey
so well, so far. This is me in every essence.
I love how I find things like this & can nod
my head all the way through it without doubt
in my heart. I am not ashamed of who I am nor
of who I will be in the near future. I know what
I am capable of. I know my strengths, my weaknesses.
All I want in this life is for someone to be able
to accept them. To be able to let me lead when I need
to do so, to let me follow when I need to. All said
& done the end of this poem stated it correctly...
"...And now that I have found myself
I am ready to find you
We have known each other before
But not in this Life
We will meet where we deserve to meet
Staring into the mirror of our Hearts
And remaining when others have run away."
One day, just one day...♥
xSigned___JNF. ♥
By Mastin Kipp
I have traveled far
And followed my Heart with every step
I have learned discernment through being cheated
I have learned forgiveness through betrayal
I have learned to love myself through abandonment
I have created wealth by not needing more than I have
And I have found Love by leaving a vulnerable space
That only it could fill
This path I have taken has not been easy
The twists, the turns, the lessons and burns
Each of them have been perfect
Not easy
But perfect
My Heart has lead me into and through the dark night
And guided me to the safe havens of friends who I've known for many lives
Each step, each hint, each intuition has brought me closer to Love
I do not regret
I do not blame
I do not look back in shame
I am only grateful for the gift of being no longer afraid
And now that I have found myself
I am ready to find you
We have known each other before
But not in this Life
We will meet where we deserve to meet
Staring into the mirror of our Hearts
And remaining when others have run away
I still have lots to travel.
I still have lots to gain.
I still have lots of failing & getting up to do.
I still have lots to learn.
However, this describes my journey
so well, so far. This is me in every essence.
I love how I find things like this & can nod
my head all the way through it without doubt
in my heart. I am not ashamed of who I am nor
of who I will be in the near future. I know what
I am capable of. I know my strengths, my weaknesses.
All I want in this life is for someone to be able
to accept them. To be able to let me lead when I need
to do so, to let me follow when I need to. All said
& done the end of this poem stated it correctly...
"...And now that I have found myself
I am ready to find you
We have known each other before
But not in this Life
We will meet where we deserve to meet
Staring into the mirror of our Hearts
And remaining when others have run away."
One day, just one day...♥
xSigned___JNF. ♥
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