Blank ideas.

Sometimes I open a new blog post knowing exactly what it is that I want to write, then I get to the blank template and nothing seeps through my fingertips. No ideas collect in my head. No emotions sing in my heart.

There have been a series of events that have transcended this academic year, some good some bad. All worth it in the end. It's currently finals week and all I have to do is take 2 final exams to leave this semester in the past.

Sometimes you wish to speed up time. Sometimes you pray that one day you'll wake up and finally be happy. Sometimes you thank a higher being for allowing you to be exactly where you are.
I've done all of the above, sometimes without thinking, other times thoroughly thought out.

Life is a series of events, all designed uniquely for an individual purpose. It's up to you to run with them or let them affect you.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Grateful.

As I sit here in one of the coffee shops located on my school campus listening to classical music on my iPad 2 on this cold winter day I look back at what this year has been. What it has brought. What it has taken away. What memories I have made. It's the first day of the last month of the year and though it's nostlagic to know the year is almost over I am fully satisfied with this year. For all I have learned. For all I have experienced. For all of the things that have pushed me every single morning to get up and live the new day I was given. I am so blessed and so thankful for all the things I have in my life. Are you?


xSigned___JNF. ♥

Set fire to the rain.

I burned the pictures to ashes.
I pawned the jewelry.
I sold the clothes & the shoes.
I rid myself of everything that was you once and for all.
For the better, I permanently deleted your name out of my terminology.
From my head, I deleted the memories.
From my heart, I deleted the love.
From my body, I washed away the impurities that you kissed upon me.
From my lips, I wiped away the venomous kisses you once layed upon them.
I took back the innocence I once knew.
I took me back.
I brought myself back to reality.

No relationship is worth sacrificing your dignity or self worth for, EVER!

Peace & love kids.

xSigned____JNF. ♥

Time waits for no one.

My life has been a blur the past couple of weeks. Between school, work, meetings, traveling, and everything else; I barely have time for myself. Anyways this blog post is not about how exhausted I have been instead to share with you something that recently happened to me but forgot to share.

So about a week ago I turned 21 years old. Before that, for the past 20 years of my life, I heard my parents tell me not to have a boyfriend until I had an established career. Not to take any relationship(s) seriously because I was young and all guys wanted to do was take advantage of me. Now that I am 21 it is a different ball game. The other day I had routinely called my mother and was talking to her. She had asked me how had I spent my first night being 21 and of course I kind of left out the part where I went to the bar and got drunk with my girlfriends like every 21 year old does. I proceeded to tell her that I was cold (I was walking to work at this point) and she replied with: "Well if you had a boyfriend he would have been warming you up." There was a silence on my end of the line. What was I suppose to say? I didn't know if this was a trick remark of some sort. She proceeded in telling me that it was about time that I went out there and found someone deem of me because I was "getting old" (MAJOR INSULT!). Basically my mother told me that time waits for no one. That it takes 2 people to find each other. Not just a woman sitting at home waiting for the "right man" to come find her because there isn't a "right man". That love will pull people together and break them apart but at the end of the day the only thing that counts is that you're willing to go out there and risk being pulled apart once more (she was referring to my ex-boyfriend here). I learned something new that day. Peace and Love kids!

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Everything Happens For A REASON?!

Recently something happened to me that I never in a million years would have thought it would have happened to me. I would disclose what it was but it's a bit personal so I rather not. I've always heard the saying "everything happens for a reason" I've even used it a couple of times in my life. OKAY maybe more than a couple of times. Up until about 3 days ago when this tragic thing happened to me did I really know the meaning of what it was. I was, and still kind of am, upset at the fact that this happened to me BUT I guess I can look at the positive side of this and tell myself that "everything happens for a reason". Just know that when the universe decides to attack you it's not because it has something personal against you, instead it is because it has it's own ways of making sure you are on the right track. Peace and Love kids!


xSigned___JNF. ♥

Send his ASS packing!

Hypocrisy is something I've never been fond of. I've never tolerated it but up until the other day did I notice that women are the biggest hypocrites alive. We say things we don't mean. We allow men to take advantage of us and when they turn their backs we say we'll put them in line then they tell us a sweet thing and POW we're back to being hypocrites. I KNOW that NOT all women are like this but some, okay MANY, are. Things happen in this world because we sometimes allow them too. Men cheat because we're either helping them cheat or forgiving them because they cheated. I assure you that if you set boundaries and even if it was just ONE time that he were to cross those boundaries and you sent his ass packing he would learn. If the next girl did the same thing and the one after that and the one after her and so on this world would be a much better place! Later kids.

xSigned_JNF. ♥

Love without expecting.

I've never denied being in love. I've never deliberately tried to convince myself to no longer love someone. Yes, I did love a person that consiously or subconsiously didn't love me back with as much passion as I did. Yes I physically, emotionally, and mentally gave myself to him so that instead he gave merely nothing in return. Yes this was the first man I had ever been intimate with. I was young, naïve, and passionately in love. Would I take it all back? Never. Never will I look back at this in regret for God doesn't put you through something you aren't able to handle and learn from. Some ask me why him and I reply why not? Everyone has the right to be loved for who they are no matter what. Everyone has the right to love risking to not be loved at all in return and that was my case. But I loved without expecting and not because I was dumb or young or whatever the case may have been but because that is how one should love; without expectations.

xSigned___JNF. ♥