Life has been blissful lately :) I just finished my first summer course and just got off a 3 day weekend! Today I went back to work but I'm definitely looking forward to this weekend! I get to spend 4 days at the beach, YAYYY :D be happy for me ;) Well I hope you guys have been doing well. XO.
No, I refuse to let you come into my life once more and shake it up. I rather miss you from afar because for four months I was perfectly fine without you. Yes I thought about you and wanted to see you BUT I was fine, I was happy; I was going on with life. Now you pull one of your "let me appear for a couple of days and disappear for months" stunt; I refuse to play along with this. My feelings are always the ones that end up getting hurt and you might not care about them but I DO! Once and for all someone has got to put a stop to this never ending cycle. I love you, but I love me more.
xSigned___JNF. ♥
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Old memories.
Hello dolls! I know I know, I've been gone for too long! *Waves hand in air and sips coffee*
Anyways yea yea blah blah many things have been happening in my life curretnly, you guys know the drill. Let's get to the good stuff :D
Two things happened today 1. An array of thoughts seeped into my head and 2. I watched the last episode of season 5 of Keeping up with the Kardashians. (These things go hand in hand!) Today a person seeped into my head and an array of memories along with this person did also. My ex boyfriend's mother seeped into my head. This woman was so wonderful to me. I owe her so much and I wish I had the time to repay her for all she has done for me. I feel like that's a hard part of breaking off a relationship. It's hard to also leave behind the people who were so wonderful to you and had nothing to do with your failing relationship. You invested so much time and emotion into them. Atleast I know I did. Whether or not they would like you. Whether or not you would get along. Whether or not they would accept you. And when finally all of the above is grounded you've got to move on and leave them behind. How do you explain to them that there are boundaries all of a sudden. How do you explain to them that you can no longer pop up at their house and visit. Or call them or text them? How do you explain this? Why do they have to pay for YOUR failing relationship? I've been wondering this for 2 years. Today while watching the last episode of KUWTK, Kim and Khloe got into a huge argument over Khloe having pictures of Kim's ex boyfriend around the house. Khole explained that she had invested so much emotion in Kim's ex boyfriends that it was hard to just move on the way Kim did and leave them behind. I totally agreed and saw myself in the same predicament. There have been times where I just wanted to drive over to my ex boyfriend's mother's house and spend a good afternoon in her company like I had always done but I refrained from it because times are different now. Things have changed. Though it seems unfair I guess it's part of the moving on process. XOXO loves!
xSigned___JNF. ♥
Anyways yea yea blah blah many things have been happening in my life curretnly, you guys know the drill. Let's get to the good stuff :D
Two things happened today 1. An array of thoughts seeped into my head and 2. I watched the last episode of season 5 of Keeping up with the Kardashians. (These things go hand in hand!) Today a person seeped into my head and an array of memories along with this person did also. My ex boyfriend's mother seeped into my head. This woman was so wonderful to me. I owe her so much and I wish I had the time to repay her for all she has done for me. I feel like that's a hard part of breaking off a relationship. It's hard to also leave behind the people who were so wonderful to you and had nothing to do with your failing relationship. You invested so much time and emotion into them. Atleast I know I did. Whether or not they would like you. Whether or not you would get along. Whether or not they would accept you. And when finally all of the above is grounded you've got to move on and leave them behind. How do you explain to them that there are boundaries all of a sudden. How do you explain to them that you can no longer pop up at their house and visit. Or call them or text them? How do you explain this? Why do they have to pay for YOUR failing relationship? I've been wondering this for 2 years. Today while watching the last episode of KUWTK, Kim and Khloe got into a huge argument over Khloe having pictures of Kim's ex boyfriend around the house. Khole explained that she had invested so much emotion in Kim's ex boyfriends that it was hard to just move on the way Kim did and leave them behind. I totally agreed and saw myself in the same predicament. There have been times where I just wanted to drive over to my ex boyfriend's mother's house and spend a good afternoon in her company like I had always done but I refrained from it because times are different now. Things have changed. Though it seems unfair I guess it's part of the moving on process. XOXO loves!
xSigned___JNF. ♥
Monday, May 23, 2011
Support system = GOD.
Hey loves! :)
It's been a week since I moved into my new place! Whoooo time flew and aside from the weary, rainy weather we've been having; it's been pretty much great :) I started a summer course today, which idk how I feel about it, but hopefully as things start going I get the hang of things. I've also been searching for a job high and low and no one wants to hire which has me a little worried. Nonetheless, I have faith that something will come up. I've got a great support system backing me up and rooting for me, AKA: GOD! ;) Anyways, peace and love darlingssss!
xSigned___JNF. ♥
It's been a week since I moved into my new place! Whoooo time flew and aside from the weary, rainy weather we've been having; it's been pretty much great :) I started a summer course today, which idk how I feel about it, but hopefully as things start going I get the hang of things. I've also been searching for a job high and low and no one wants to hire which has me a little worried. Nonetheless, I have faith that something will come up. I've got a great support system backing me up and rooting for me, AKA: GOD! ;) Anyways, peace and love darlingssss!
xSigned___JNF. ♥
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Overdose on this medicine, side effects: HAPPINESS!
Some people have been asking me how, how am I doing what I'm currently doing, after being in such a long relationship and being heartbroken for quite some time and I am here to address this the best way I know possible, by telling the truth.
I have no secrets, there are no recipes.
I have no superpowers nor am I a psychic.
I didn't read any books nor did I take any medicine.
The only thing I can prescribe for a broken heart is time.
That's what I prescribed myself.
Time to cry.
Time to heal.
Time to reevaluate my life and myself.
Time to look back.
Time to come to terms with what had happened to my relationship.
Time to mature.
Most importantly time to move on.
This is it, that's what I did for 2 years of my life.
I cried, I tried to get into forced relationships, I kept going back to my ex, I made mistakes, I stumbled, I fell; HARD but I got up. I reevaluated myself, I gave myself time, I matured, and most importantly I moved on. And that's how I am able to be open up to another man without feeling a bit of remorse, without judging him, without worrying that he might do to me what my ex did, without pointing fingers. Was it easy?! HELL NO! It took a lot to be where I am today and it's taking a lot more to keep me here but I am here and it is not impossible. With a lot of dedication and the correct support system anyone can be where I am today. Never loose faith in yourself or love because if you loose yourself, you loose everything. PEACE & LOVE KIDS! XO.
xSigned___JNF. ♥
P.S Above all else love yourself!
I have no secrets, there are no recipes.
I have no superpowers nor am I a psychic.
I didn't read any books nor did I take any medicine.
The only thing I can prescribe for a broken heart is time.
That's what I prescribed myself.
Time to cry.
Time to heal.
Time to reevaluate my life and myself.
Time to look back.
Time to come to terms with what had happened to my relationship.
Time to mature.
Most importantly time to move on.
This is it, that's what I did for 2 years of my life.
I cried, I tried to get into forced relationships, I kept going back to my ex, I made mistakes, I stumbled, I fell; HARD but I got up. I reevaluated myself, I gave myself time, I matured, and most importantly I moved on. And that's how I am able to be open up to another man without feeling a bit of remorse, without judging him, without worrying that he might do to me what my ex did, without pointing fingers. Was it easy?! HELL NO! It took a lot to be where I am today and it's taking a lot more to keep me here but I am here and it is not impossible. With a lot of dedication and the correct support system anyone can be where I am today. Never loose faith in yourself or love because if you loose yourself, you loose everything. PEACE & LOVE KIDS! XO.
xSigned___JNF. ♥
P.S Above all else love yourself!
GENTLE and a MAN.
You, you came back into my life when I least expected you too.
Old friends catching up like it hadn't been years since we last spoke.
Like we had been communicating all those lost years between us.
And here I am, with a stomach full of butterflies.
More open than I have ever been.
Open to you.
Open to this.
Open to being loved and to love.
Yes I was hurt and deceived before you but I refuse to let that cripple my future or let alone me.
Now I understand what people mean when they look at me and tell me "Jamie you're such a strong person."
I always refused to believe that but now I see it, I feel it.
I love this empowerment I have over myself.
How I'm able to not allow my past experiences ruin my future ones.
How I've taken them and made them learning experiences.
I love every minute I spend with you.
In your presence.
It's amazing to know that men like you still exist, the kind that are a true definition of a gentleman, GENTLE and a MAN.
xSigned___JNF. ♥
Old friends catching up like it hadn't been years since we last spoke.
Like we had been communicating all those lost years between us.
And here I am, with a stomach full of butterflies.
More open than I have ever been.
Open to you.
Open to this.
Open to being loved and to love.
Yes I was hurt and deceived before you but I refuse to let that cripple my future or let alone me.
Now I understand what people mean when they look at me and tell me "Jamie you're such a strong person."
I always refused to believe that but now I see it, I feel it.
I love this empowerment I have over myself.
How I'm able to not allow my past experiences ruin my future ones.
How I've taken them and made them learning experiences.
I love every minute I spend with you.
In your presence.
It's amazing to know that men like you still exist, the kind that are a true definition of a gentleman, GENTLE and a MAN.
xSigned___JNF. ♥
Don't forget your roots.
I've abandoned you guys :( with good reason though! I have finished my last semester being a Junior in college and next semester I go in as a college Senior! Wooooh how time flies! I was just graduating high school not so long ago, atleast that's how it feels. However as I look back at the wonderful memories I am absolutely glad and most importantly blessed to be where I am today. So many things have happened within this 2 week period that it's unbelieveable! I've moved into my own apartment, a wonderful man has entered my life, i've been exhausted, I've cried, I've been happy, I've smiled, laughed; soooo many things it's overwhelmingly joyous. I have to give thanks to God ofcourse who's guided me down this amazing path and for allowing me to never loose faith in him and the wonderful things he has had in store for me. Anyways guys PEACE & LOVE. XO.
xSigned___JNF. ♥
xSigned___JNF. ♥
Monday, May 2, 2011
Move on. Move out. Move in.
As I told you all I am moving out of my parents house and NO LONGER DORMING and moving into my own apartment in approximately 2 weeks! I'm excited about this eventhough it's a little bittersweet. However in the midst of it all I have come up with a list of pros about moving into my new place. Read on!
-My own personal space!
-No more sharing the bathroom with 40000 other not so clean girls.. (Things got sooooo disgusting this semester in our floor bathroom :-/)
-No more having to leave my place to go to the dining hall in sleet, hail, flood, tornado, blizzard, and any other dire weather forecasts to eat disgusting food.
-I have my own kitchen to eat an array of GREAT food!
-No more eating out and having to wait 45 mins to an hour for it to get to my place. I live in the heart of my school's Main street.
-No more having someone disturb your sleep or nap -____-
-No more having someone loudly talk on the phone around you when you want to do the above!
-No more having someone loudly bang their drawers in the morning!
-Did I mention my OWN PERSONAL SPACE!
-I get to do what I want, when I get, how I want, whenever I want in my own bedroom without having to ask "do you mind"!
-My own livng room :)
-No more COURTESY RULES!
-No more QUIET HOURS!
-No more building curfew (yes the dorm I lived in had curfew o___O)
-NO MORE ROOMMATES!
Okay I think I'm done! Feel free to add any ;) PEACE AND LOVE!
xSigned___JNF. ♥
-My own personal space!
-No more sharing the bathroom with 40000 other not so clean girls.. (Things got sooooo disgusting this semester in our floor bathroom :-/)
-No more having to leave my place to go to the dining hall in sleet, hail, flood, tornado, blizzard, and any other dire weather forecasts to eat disgusting food.
-I have my own kitchen to eat an array of GREAT food!
-No more eating out and having to wait 45 mins to an hour for it to get to my place. I live in the heart of my school's Main street.
-No more having someone disturb your sleep or nap -____-
-No more having someone loudly talk on the phone around you when you want to do the above!
-No more having someone loudly bang their drawers in the morning!
-Did I mention my OWN PERSONAL SPACE!
-I get to do what I want, when I get, how I want, whenever I want in my own bedroom without having to ask "do you mind"!
-My own livng room :)
-No more COURTESY RULES!
-No more QUIET HOURS!
-No more building curfew (yes the dorm I lived in had curfew o___O)
-NO MORE ROOMMATES!
Okay I think I'm done! Feel free to add any ;) PEACE AND LOVE!
xSigned___JNF. ♥
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