Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Pretty much, you've brought me back, the me that I used to know, but lost somewhere along the way. ♥

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Welcome back home.

I'm happy. I'm extremely happy, all thanks to one wonderful man. I am home, back to the place where I know I am loved. There's one person I've got to thank.. GOD.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


"He told me that in Greek, nostalgia literally means the pain from an old wound. It’s a twinge in your heart, far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn’t a spaceship, it’s a time machine. Goes backwards, forwards, and takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It’s not called ‘The Wheel,’ it’s called ‘The Carousel.’ It lets us travel the way a child travels, round and around and back home again, to a place where we know we are loved." - Don Draper, Mad Men

This is me currently. I keep going around in this carousel. Round and round. I want to go home. I want to go back to the place where I know I am loved.

This is my 100th post and boyyyyyy what an amazing ride it has been. I love the fact that I have this pace where I can come to and express everything and anything. Thanks for all the support and for reading ;) Peace and love kids.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Who the hell knows!

"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our things were answers like astronaut, president, or in my case, princess. When we were ten, they asked us again. We answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medallist. But now that we’ve grown up, they want a more serious answer. Well, how about this… Who the hell knows? This isn’t a time to make hard and fast decisions. This is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere. Fall in love - a lot. Major in philosophy because there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again because nothing is permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… We won’t have to guess. We’ll know. -Eclipse

I read this and it reminded me so much of what my life has been the past 20 years. I just wanted to share it with you guys. Peace and love.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Not so happy birthday.

Today is your birthday. What do birthdays really mean? Hopefully a celebration of another year of life of lessons learned, memories created, new friends, old friends and everything else in between. I say most importantly another year given to you to grow up. Hopefully this is the case for you, especially you. For the past 2 yrs after we broke up. I waited for this day, this night. Where hopefully I would be the first person to sing you a song, send you a text. Help you see that I still cared. But last night was different. Last night I didn't wait for today. I didn't sing you a song or send you a text. Not because I didn't care. Not because "I have a boyfriend" but because I didn't want to be that girl anymore. See I am different. Times are different. I love me. With my whole heart and I refuse to jeopardize my love for myself for someone as selfish as you. I refuse to fall into that category again. Maybe you noticed or maybe you didn't. But you as well as I do know that you waited for this day too. You wait for this day because it's the only day out of the whole year that you have a chance to jump at things. I'm tired of chances and I'm tired of giving them to you because every year for my birthday I waited for you to sing me a song or send me a text. Yet I never received either. Happy birthday to you. Peace and love kids.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

That girl.

I hope anyone out there that is going through this can get up one day and realize that this is UNACCEPTABLE. These things only happen because we allow them too. Peace and love kids.

"I'm fighting for RESPECT because I will never be content with being your backdoor hoe, your something on the side, your something to do during those lonely nights, your closet freak, you will never reduce me to a skank and a whore and though I love you I rather spend every night crying alone on my bedroom floor than ever be THAT GIRL."

Monday, April 4, 2011

Why wait?

I'm suppose to be doing a case study on Red Bull for my Marketing class that's due tomorrow but I opted out on it and decided to blog instead which always ups my mood. Anyways lately I've been thinking about so many things, my future in general, and today as I sat around a table with many of my colleagues discussing "girl stuff" while enjoying our daily meal it hit me. It all hit me at the same time. I spent the whole day processing so many things in my head that I even got so exhausted that I fell asleep and was late for one of my meetings.. *Sigh*

Anyways I have recently began wondering why men are able to just get up and look for a relationship but women just need to sit there and wait to be found. How come this is so? I have recently began seeing that my CLOCK IS TICKING and it is not waiting for me to catch up. How am I just suppose to sit here and "wait" for "love" to come find me? It's the way it's suppose to be done I KNOW but in this fast paced, polychronic society we live in who has TIME to just sit around and wait? I don't think I am patient enough for this. Excuse my french but FUCK what the books say! I bet the first people that are going to disagree with me are the ones that ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP. That's another thing I have to STOP doing is turning to those people that do not have what I want to have! Peace and love kids.

xSigned___JNF. ♥