Tuesday, September 28, 2010


I hope one day you don't regret loosing me.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Thursday, September 23, 2010

You reap what you sow.

I saw you. I had you. You saw me.
You savored me. We spent the night
in utter bliss in eachothers arms
without any hesitation. Then you
disappeared and that was the last
straw for me. I can't bear having
you so close yet so far away from
me. I can't let you keep using me.
I have chosen to not be readily-avaible
for you. I am tired of the same thing
over and over again with you. It is not
my problem that you hide your feelings,
run from them, and are scared of them.
I know what I want. I wanted you. Now I
want myself. I want to love myself. I
want to triumph and succeed for myself.
I wanted to do these things with you but
you pushed me over the edge. & I have
finally reached the bottom. Currently
climbing to the top with my own bare
hands. Skinning my knees on the way.
Blistering my heart. Just knowing that
I am doing this for one specific reason.
MYSELF. I will love one day again. I just
know it won't be you because this is what
I have chosen for myself. I have finally
let go of what was and started to understand
what is. You were right, you don't deserve me.
But I have learned. You have taught me lessons.
You have taught me to be just a bigger fighter.
I commend you for that. I still love you,
ofcourse. Falling out of love is hard but
I fell for something worse. I fell for betrayal
& now that's what I am currently getting over.
Your betrayal. But life goes on. So I guess
I will be completely fine. Scarred but fine.
Cautious but fine. I just know that nothing
in this world goes undone. You reap what you sow.

xSigned___JNF. ♥


It's been forever!
Just know that the swing of things
has enhanced. School has come to
a full circle now. I am just going
'round and 'round until break arrives.
I won't complain, it keeps me busy.
REALLY busy. So busy I have no time to
think about mediocre things. Alot has
happened in my life lately. Alot of good
things, alot of bad things. However I am
thankful for every single one of those

Now I bring to you this topic,
the single woman topic. I am utterly
tired of the repsonse I get for being
an independent, hard-working, single
woman. I would love to know what is
wrong with that? Why is it a problem
that, for now, I would love to be POWERFUL,
SUCCESSFUL & SINGLE all at the same time?
Why do I need a man in my life to do all
of the above? Society has molded our minds
to think that a woman is nobody without a
man. That women are doormats, that women
cannot succeed in this life without a man.
Well I will tell you otherwise. This is NOT
true! You can be anyone you want to be in
this world if you persevere, if you push
through all of your barriers, if you commit
yourself to it. WE were born alone, yes we
were. & yes I understand God did not put us
in this world to be alone becuase if that's
the case he would have only made one gender
but as a woman I can truly say that we have
become so dependent on men. Just to prove
this let's start with careers. When someone
asks me what is my major in school and I
reply with: "I am a Business Management
major with a double Minor in Economics
and Spanish and a Concentration in
Leadership" some look at me like I am
retarded leading to in short terms "that's
a males field." Then they follow with the
question "What do you want to do with that?"
As if that is a trick question, so I answer
"I want to work for a leading corporation, to
then fend out on own to my own business, preferably
a jointly owned company, to then later on in
my life be a business professor in an accredited
higher institution." That's when they really
loose it. We as woman has been pin-pointed with
so many labels and it's kind of sad. However, I
refuse to let those things get in the way of what
I want to do with my life. Will it be hard because
of my gender? Hell Yes! But I rather tell my problems
how BIG my God is!

Power to women all around the world!

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Monday, September 13, 2010

Tomorrow is not promised.

I wanted to share this with you all:

A couple of hundred years ago,
Benjamin Franklin shared with the world
the secret of his success. Never leave
that till tomorrow, he said, which you
can do today. This is the man who
discovered electricity. You think more
people would listen to what he had to say.
I don't know why we put things off, but if
I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot
to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of
rejection, sometimes the fear is just of
making a decision, because what if you're
wrong? What if you're making a mistake you
can't undo? The early bird catches the worm.
A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates
is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told.
We've all heard the proverbs, heard the
philosophers, heard our grandparents warning
us about wasted time, heard the damn poets
urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes
we have to see for ourselves. We have to make
our own mistakes. We have to learn our own
lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility
under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore.
Until we finally understand for ourselves what
Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is
better than wondering, that waking is better than
sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the
worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

-Grey's Anatomy

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Thursday, September 9, 2010


It's like you magically read my thoughts.
Today you texted me. I also saw you and your
actions by far spoke louder than anything.
This time I didn't hear your words. This
time I heard your actions and ohhhh did
they speak! They actually yelled and I
heard every single thing they were saying.
A lovetap, a hug, a kiss, and a conversation.
I couldn't have asked for more than that.
It was like your actions were reaching into
my heart and telling it to not beat so fast,
that everything will be alright. It
obliterated every question. I guess lesson
learned, no more anxiously trying to figure
out all the things that were not said.
No more reading too far between the lines.
Just taking it day by day, lovetap by lovetap.
God knows what he does, why he does it, how he
does it, and when he does it. Patience is a virtue.
However, I want to quit playing cat and mouse. I
desire you and I can't help the way I desire you.
I can still feel your lips on my cheek. I can still
feel the stubbiness of your unshaved face on mine.
I can still smell your scent........♥

xSigned___JNF. ♥

P.S School is going splendid guys :)
So many activities so little time!
Love all of my classes btw! :D
I hope you are all living a wonderful
life, hugs & kisses. xoxoxo.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Beautiful words can KILL YOU!

As I sit here and wonder. My mind
and heart go into bliss right before
they hit rock bottom. I wonder about
you everyday. If I'm going to see you
and will you text me or will you call
me. But who am I kidding? I guess only
myself! You asked so many questions and
I answered them but you didn't put my
answers to use. Now I wonder what was the
point of that night. That one summer night
that changed everything? You should have just
told me your wrong doings but never your
feelings. They did something to me. They
made me fly but cut my pretty wings
all at the same time. How does that happen?
How can words, beautiful words, make you
fly and crash all at the same time?
You see that's the thing about words, they
can mislead you. They can hurt you. They
can confuse you. But beautiful words?
Beautiful words can KILL YOU! Though
I've always said actions speak louder
than words, sometimes words can leave
endless echoes that repeat themselves
over and over again. Potentially driving
you to insanity. I sit here and wait for
your actions to speak but your words are
far louder than anything you are doing.
I guess it's time to plug my ears, to become
deaf. I won't hear your beautiful words
anymore. I will only be able to see your
actions. No actions, no progress, no me,
no us....

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Saturday, September 4, 2010

T H O U G H T S.

move on...
let go...
campus life...
your touch...
your smile...
your kisses...
hard work...

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Wednesday, September 1, 2010


Who was I kidding?! Why did I even have the
slightest idea that things were going to be
different. That you would change. That you
were actually, this time around, going to
be a friend; a REAL friend? I truly thank God
for giving me the strength to forgive you, but
I believe I should have been weak and immature
and not even have had the thought of forgiving you
running through my mind. But I did. I was strong.
I was freed. I was at peace and I forgave you.
You cried, crocodile tears, but you cried. That
night you appeared to be a man, a real man but
here we are back to square three. Back to you
being the same person. Back to your lies. & here
goes my heart getting confused, not knowing what
beat to follow. I guess when someone admits to
being ugly in the inside you should run, but
here I am standing here waiting for a miracle.
Waiting for something that obviously will never
happen. Waiting for some kind of sign. Here
goes my heart back to being in solace. You took
me so high only to drop me from the very top.
Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I let this happen.
Maybe I should just blame myself. My heart tells
me one thing but my mind is telling me another.
Do I listen to something that for the past 3
years has ferociously felt the need to direct
me to loving you? Or should I listen to
something that for the past year has told me
let go? I guess I should have ran that one day.
But I'm still standing here with arms wide open
waiting for the day that you either run into
them or they just get tired....I hope you
choose to run into them, it'll be tragic if
you don't.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

P.S Hey guys by the way 1st week of classes
are going great :) & I've been doing so much
& catching up with familiar faces also
meeting some unfamiliar ones! Much love to
you all; Keep reading! :D Kisses and hugs!