Sunday, December 28, 2014

Goodbye 2012, 2013 & 2014.

This is my last post of 2014... WOW! 2014 left us in what felt like the blink of an eye. This is my recap.. my blink of an eye.

The past 3 years after graduation I struggled so much. Financially, emotionally, physically, mentally you name it and I struggled. I lost so many things, my temper, my faith, my strength, my thoughts, but I also gained so much more. Three years later I am stronger, wiser, and more open to new opportunities.

There comes a point in your life where you do not fret if a door you thought you were supposed to pass through closes. I have reached this point. I have learned to appreciate what I have and not yearn for the things I do not have. I have learned to look at things in a three dimensional way and not the way I want to see them. I have learned to accept my present and work towards my future one day at a time. Most importantly I have come to terms that the only person I should be in competition with is the person I was yesterday.

This has taken a lot of self discipline from my part. See, I was the type of person that questioned everything. I needed to know the answers right now. If something happened to me whether good or bad I wanted to know why. I have slowly let go the wanting to know everything. I have taught myself that fretting and stressing was only detrimental to one person, myself.

I feel very proud that I am leaving not just 2014 but the past 3 years of my life on this note. Now on to the amazing highlights of 2014...

I got engaged to my long time best friend, boyfriend, soulmate on November 7th, 2014 (I will post about my ring/engagement in a future post). Wedding planning will commence full swing this January 2015.

We also got a home, the most beautiful home I've ever lived in. My days now consist of home decor blogs, magazines and inspiration.

I also landed a job that has changed my life both internally and externally.

I made new memories with new people as well as those who have been in my life long term.

I will leave you with this quote...

"When we face impermanence wisely, we have an opportunity to cultivate a more constructive way of relating to reality. If we do so, we can actually learn to feel at ease in the face of unexpected change, and work comfortably with whatever new situations might occur."

Oodles of love,
Jamie F. soon to be Jamie B.


Saturday, October 18, 2014

What is life?

Hi, hello, como estan?

It's been a long time coming.. a long time writing.. a long time that I've not visited this blog or let alone had time to think about it.

For a period of time I was simply too scared to share anything with anyone. I felt like what I wrote or what I said was taken against my will and twisted into a completely different story. Then I realized, that this is me. This blog is me. This blog tells my story, my dreams, my nightmares, my sadness, my happiness. I share milestones here. I share mishaps. I share accomplishments. I realized there's no one that can take that away from me, no matter how hard they tried.

Between the last couple of months my life has changed drastically, for the better, and looking back and I can't help but shudder in disbelief about how many times I almost gave up chasing my dreams. Life is a funny thing if I may say so myself. The times you think you will not survive you come out on top of the world. Full of battle scars but still taking the number one spot. That's exactly like I feel. I feel like the past two years of my life were the fiercest battle I have ever had to fight in my entire life. However, I came out victorious, full of battle wounds and memories, and tears, and life altering changes, yet victorious and changed.

August was the beginning of the fulfilling life I had been seeking for the past two years. I have found my niche and a company that I had only dreamed of being a part of. Life fell into place at the wrong time, yet at the right time all at the same time. Just when I wasn't expecting it too. When I thought all hope was lost I literally get slapped in the face with the opportunity of a life time. It has been a hard journey yet here I stand basking in the joyful light that is one simple grain of faith.

For such a long time I wanted to make myself believe that I had faith that everything will work out until I finally believed it. Until I finally let go of controlling my life and finally lived my life. It's scary to not know what tomorrow holds but you can't live your life wondering if tomorrow will work out or not if you are physically in today.

I got there stumbling yet proud, you will too.

Just keep on keeping.

Oodles of love,



Thursday, June 26, 2014

For today.

I've been crying the whole day.. Since the moment I woke up, up until right now as I'm writing this.

This is what I'm going to do.
I'm going to keep crying.
I'm going to be angry.
Be disappointed.
Feel used.
Be frustrated.
Feel like a failure.

I'm going to live in these feelings the whole day.
And when tomorrow comes I'm going to wake up and I'm going to
Forget about them.

The beauty about feelings is that you can control them.
You can live in feelings for as long as you want but you always have the choice of unpacking your baggage or simply picking up the pieces and moving on when you feel like it.

So for today I'm going to live in these feelings.
And for tomorrow I'm going to pick up the pieces and move on.

Xoxo, J.

Friday, June 20, 2014

The truth is...

Hi.. This is for the people of the internet.
The readers.
The writers.
The lovers.

The truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the more clearly you’ll see their flaws. That’s just the way it is. This is why marriages fail, why children are abandoned, why friendships don’t last. You might think you love someone until you see the way they act when they’re out of money or under pressure or hungry, for goodness’ sake. Love is something different. Love is choosing to serve someone and be with someone in spite of their filthy heart. Love is patient and kind, love is deliberate. Love is hard. Love is pain and sacrifice, it’s seeing the darkness in another person and defying the impulse to jump ship. -Melanie J Williams

Xoxo, J.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Feed your soul but starve your wallet.

I have a soul sister.
Her soul and my soul align perfectly together.
We usually discuss politics, life, books, Jesus, love, money, business, and world news.
When my soul aches her soul aches as well and vise versa.

Last night we were talking about our lives and how unbelievably frustrating they have been lately.
You see we are two young adults trying to make it in this life.
We want happiness, prosperity, health, love & success; via our own definition of course.
The problem is sometimes we may need the help of others to achieve this and sometimes those others may not be so willing to help.

I live in a city where young adults are clawing at their very own selves to try and make a living.
No one understands the struggle of living in a poverty stricken city like young adults trying to make a living.
I truly dislike telling myself that I hate where I live but sometimes I do.
Everyone asks for experience on your resume but no one is willing to help you get it or better yet allow you to do so.
Trust me if experience were something I could buy I would do so in a heartbeat.

Everyone in this city lives with a stick up their ass.
Mad at the world because this city is "oh so bad".
When in turn they are the only ones making this city the way it is.

None wants to give young adults a chance because they stereotype us all.
They say that we are lazy, spoiled, entitled and not willing to work for what we want.
It's beyond overwhelming and frustrating.

I love this place.
It has so much potential and livelihood but no one seems to care about it.
And that's where the problem lies...
Everyone scrambling to make a living. To pay the bills, the school loans, car payments, mortgages yet there are but so many jobs and new ones aren't being created.

So that leaves us, the young adults, with nothing but empty hands and empty dreams.
They feed your soul but starve your wallet.

xoxo, J.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Oh hey... *insert nervous smile here*

I know I know... Same sob story.. Same excuses. Let me reintroduce myself! Hi I'm Jamie and I had amnesia for quite some time but now I've recuperated so I'm back...

Anyways... Where do I begin? At the beginning right? I wish it were that easy.. My life has been a magical array of blessings lately. Some hidden and some in plain sight and I couldn't be more thankful for both of them. I've been keeping myself grounded and guarded to say the least because life has a way of bringing reality barging through your door and have it sit right at your couch. I don't like unwanted visitors, specially those that sit on my couch without permission!

So where to go with this post? I thought I had my thoughts.. Oh who am I kidding? Life also has a way of shaking you up, of testing you. & the universe has been putting my faith to the test fo' sure!! I don't know if to cry or be angry but I'm holding strong to my roots, to my faith & to my Christianity because there's always something beautiful in something dark. I will not be shaken! (Repeat after me)

Again thanks for attempting to read my rambled thoughts.

I love you.
Jamie F.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

The grass in only greener where you water it.

Last month I had a dream...
It was one of the most beautiful yet most scary dream I've ever had. It taught me a valuable lesson. That even if things may appear broken on the outside (and even on the inside) behind those two close doors you think you may be standing idly in front of on the other side of them things are mending beautifully and cautiously just for you; so that they are able to uniquely fit you.

Never give up.

Jamie F.