Thursday, March 24, 2011

"You're the only reason I am...You are all my reasons."

"I know why families were created with all their imperfections. They humanize you. They are made to make you forget yourself occasionally, so that the beautiful balance of life is not destroyed. I think people should appreciate if they have a brother, or sister, they don't realize how lucky they are. Sure, they fight & get on our nerves, but to know that there's always somebody there, somebody that's family that changes it all & makes you realize what you have right in front of your face & that I'm truly grateful for..."

I saw this.
I read this.
I smiled.

Peace & love.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Life is a ticking bomb.

Yesterday, while I was having a good 'ol nap (something I rarely have) my sister called me. I noticed she was frantic, very frantic and shaky. I proceeded to ask her what was the matter and crying she told me about an incident that had happened at her job: an elder man had died right before her eyes. Through the tears, exhaustion, impact, and every other feeling that was surging through her she told me this: "It made such a huge impact in my life. He was alright one minute and the next minute he was dead. It makes me really appreciate my loved ones." I thought about this for 2 hrs. after we hung up and she had calmed down. She is right you know. Though this elder man had health conditions he was still alive and moving. One minute he was sitting on a chair at her job and the next minute he was gone. We often complain about the life we lead or if one of our loved ones happen to frustrate us but the truth is life is a ticking bomb ready to explode when the time runs out. We all have a path in this life and once our path reaches a dead end, well that's it a dead end. It's scary to think about but it helps you understand that nothing is forever. That instead of complaining about the little things, appreciate them. That the next time you want to tell your sister, your brother, or anyone that you "hate them" (even if you don't mean it!) because they've gotten you mad THINK and instead tell them you LOVE THEM. Call your parents just to see how they are doing if you don't live with them. Tell your siblings you love them even though they get on your nerves. Call a friend and ask how they've been doing. Go take a walk. Run that extra mile. Go watch a sunset. Do things you've never done before just because you want too. Tomorrow is not promised and you never know when your bomb will explode. Peace and love kids.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

A little too late.

If the opportunity was given would you take me back?
If I told you I was ready to do this the right way would you take me back?
If I told you I'm ready for what you have to give would you take me back?
If I told you I can't live without you what would you do?
If I told you I can't see myself with anyone else what would you say?
If I proved that I was deem of you how would you feel?
If I showed you that I'm truly in love with you would you believe it?
If I told you I'm ready for us would you give me another chance?

So many questions but so little time. I'm sorry baby but somebody else is taking up my time. You might have come a little too late this time around.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Happiest man on earth.

"You're such a beautiful person inside and out. You're going to make a man very happy one day."

I've been told this countless amounts of times throughout my life. I just want to know when is there going to be a man BOLD and STRONG enough to say to me.."You're going to make ME a happy man one day."

XSigned___JNF. ♥

Friday, March 11, 2011

Matters of the heart.

"Master, the man I loved was totally dishonest," she explained to him one day, as she thought of Finn.
"If he was dishonest, he was a great lesson for you," the swamiji answered her after a long pause for thought. "We are always better than before when those we love inflict wounds on us. They make us stronger, and when you forgive him, you will no longer feel the scars." She was aware still that she did feel them, along with the regrets. And part of her still loved him. Her memories of the early days were the hardest to give up. She was more than willing to forget the pain. "You must thank him for the pain, deeply, sincerely. He gave you a great gift," the swamiji told her.

This is from a book I just finished reading today by Danielle Steel (my favorite author) called "Matters of the Heart" it was an amazing book but besides that this resounded profoundly within me because it reminds me so much of me and my first love. I believe in this with my whole heart and I just wanted to share it with you.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

One day soon.

I was in bed but too many memories seeped into my head and too many tears cluttered my vision so I decided to blog. I had been thinking about past loves and how fast time has gone by. It was like yesterday I remember getting into my first relationship. Oh how innocent I had been, how pure had that love been and how amazing had everything ended. No hard grudges, no heartbreak, no anger. Just two individuals moving on in life and realizing that better things awaited them. That they were to see better things. Of course I was melancholy, I was moving to a whole new state. I was going to a whole new high school. I was leaving my friends behind. My second relationship met me here. Again I had been pure, innocent, naive. Yet this time it was different. This time my heart broke. This time I cried toxic tears. This time I had met something new, deceit. I had met unfaithfulness. Yet years later he still tells me to forgive him and take him back. Yes I forgave him, but take him back?! Now maybe in another life and even then i would think about it. My last relationship met me here.. & It was the first time I had ever been in love. I didn't know what it was to love an imperfect person so perfectly in my life until my last relationship. My love for this man ran so deeply that it poisoned me in every way possible. It was deep. It was scary. It was in every way exactly what I wanted. I didn't know it was possible to love someone so much but my friends it's possible. Hopefully one day soon I get to love like this again. I have so much love to give but no one to give it too..

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Friday, March 4, 2011

Holla if ya need me..

Holla if ya need me. - Trey Songz

This song has been on repeat for about 2 weeks, since I first discovered it existed.
& since I decided to dedicate this song to him indirectly, can you blame me?
I'm pretty sure if I tell you about him, the good things; since I've told you all of the asshole moves he's pulled indirectly, that you wouldn't blame me. Anyways, this song was indirectly dedicated to him because in many ways the song pertains to him and I. He was my first love, that tie will never be broken. I love him and I'm sure if he's to ever need my help I would provide my assistance. Your Ex's don't always have to be your worst enemies. We shared 6 yrs of our lives, and yes I did want him dead (OMGHHKP! Not LITERALLY) for breaking my heart, but he was my friend before he was my lover. With that said, if there are any bridges in need of repair with any of your Ex's that you can fix up then fix them. On the other hand if you know for sure that, that bridge can not be fixed don't hurt yourself trying to get to the other side. I know/knew my bridge could be repaired and it was or still is being so.

"& if we never get it back you see, you can still come & holla at me...."

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


I don't expect much, I just want someone to step up and love me like I deserve to be loved.

xSigned___JNF. ♥