Thursday, December 30, 2010

Goodbye 2010, HELLO 2011!

As I say goodbye to 2010 and say hello to 2011 I realize that no matter how up and down this year has been for me I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I met some amazing people, I cried, I laughed, I danced, I yelled, I was angered and happy all in one whole year. I achieved so many things this year both personal and academically and slowly as it all comes to an end all I can say is that I am blessed. Even if I didn't realize it then I can realize it now and that's what truly counts. It's truly magical to realize things like this. For 2011 I am not asking for a "new me" it's enough with a new year; 365 days where you can make new memories. I say make it count. May all of you have a wonderful night bringing in the new year. Forget about making promises you'll break later on in the year; raise your glass clank it against as many other glasses as you can and make sure you kiss the RIGHT person at midnight because he or she will determine your luck for 2011 ;)

Muahhhh my darlings! Lots of blessings for 2011.
See you all next year. XOXOXO. ♥

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Buried alive.

Recently I've made a decision that I know in the long run I will label as a mistake that I regret. However life has it's magical way of working things out, right? I've been here before in this place. This familiar place. I know these feelings all to well. How do I say this? I know I have dug my own hole and I am currently burying myself in it knowingly. It's insane that I am still proceeding with this but I rather be buried and safe than unburied and in harms way. This is a cheap way of running away from things but I have spent too much time either running or staying. I want to finally choose one. I want to either stay or leave and currently I choose to leave. Maybe for good or maybe just for now. I just want to feel sane once more.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Saturday, December 25, 2010

'Tis the season.

Well Christmas has ended and I hope that everyone
who celebrates it had a wonderful day. My day was
completely blissful. I spent it with the people I
love most, in laughter and joy. Talking and sharing.
I truly couldn't have asked for anything else. My
life was truly complete today and even those who
were far felt near. It was truly one of the most
beautiful Christmas' I've had in a long time.
Now bring in the new year because I'm ready
for some changes. Muahhhhh guys!
I hope you have all been enjoying the holidays,
well those who do celebrate it. XOXO. ♥

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Sunday, December 19, 2010

I rather write than talk.

I don’t expect anyone to understand why I walk the way I walk
and talk the way I talk. I don’t expect anyone to understand
the way I think and go about my problems. I don’t expect anyone
to understand the way I live my life and why I rather write than
talk. How I rather lay on the grass than a bed. How I find
nature romantic and kisses feel better when they mean something.
I don’t expect anyone to understand that I rather stay still than
jump around or that I may be shy but once you get to know me I'm
an open book. How heights scare me and coloring makes me smile.
How the little things make me happy and money really isn’t
everything. I don’t expect anyone to understand that I rather
stay in than go around with big crowds. How chocolate brings out
my weak side and flowers make me happy. How music makes me dance
crazily and cry. I don’t expect anyone to understand that I like
to eat a lot or that long hair really fascinates me. How my sweats
are better than my jeans and looks don't really determine whether
I like you or not. I don’t expect anyone to understand that my life
is my family and family is my life. I don’t expect anyone to understand ♥

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Monday, December 13, 2010

Cloud 9.

Whether to cry or laugh or smile
or throw my arms up in joy...I have
no idea of which one to do & trust me
if I could do all of it at the same time
I would!

There's this saying that says "Patience
is virtue" & let me tell you my friends
that it is absolutely true. Everything
comes at it's divine right time. The
more patient you are the better. I
have so many things to be thankful for
recently that it's amazing...& I can't
help but thank GOD for all of them.
It's been a hard long road this past year
but better things are yet to come, wonderful
things. & I'm glad I've been patient enough
to be able to welcome all of these blessings
with arms and mind wide open.

Finals week has commenced for me! & if anyone
out there reading my blog is in college and
has finals: BEST OF LUCK! Hugs and reindeer
kisses! XOXOXO.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Thursday, December 9, 2010


"Lately, I've become more aware that I'm
not over you yet, I'm not even close.

- Hollie S.

This describes me currently...

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Sonnet #116.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

- William Shakespeare

I will forever love this sonnet, no matter where life takes me!
This is the true definition of love & I wish more people would
abide by it, things would be so much better off in this world...

Anyways life has been a little hectic! Last week of school then
finals next week BUT ohhhhhh the joy of going home for a month
is enough to pull me through this ;)
I hope you all have been doing grand! Much love and reindeer kisses!

xSigned___JNF ♥

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Vicious circle.

Here I am again... saying the same things.
I'm in the vicious circle again.
Even though I said I have gotten
out of it or I will get out of it or
whatever the case was.
All I know is that I'm in it again.

2 months ago was the last time I heard your
voice and yesterday you appeared yet again.
I didn't give into your words so easily but
the fact that you weren't trying to convince
me of anything just lured me in. You didn't
say sorry, you didn't try to make excuses;
you just told me straight from your heart
exactly what the deal was. You were running
away from your feelings and who's to blame you?
Some light conversation and some laughter later,
I was caught up....Here goes the confusion again.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Monday, November 29, 2010


You don't choose who to love,
your heart does.

I really wish people would
stop questioning who I am in
love with....


xSigned___JNF. ♥


I seek endlessly within me the strength to
finally let go. Everyday I seek it.
Everyday I look within me to conquer this
vast amount of emotion that was left behind
by your love.

I can say this and that, but only God truly
knows what resides in my heart. What really
runs through my veins. Only he knows my
heart's deepest desires. Only he understands
my mumbled up prayers. Only he knows what I
speak of when I mutter incomplete sentences to

One day you were there, the next gone. & as I look
back I can't really decipher what went on. One day
you loved me, the next day you didn't. One day I felt
your touch the next day I didn't.

Life can be cliche, but all you can do is continue
Carry on.
Move on.
Look ahead and not behind.

See how cliche that is?
How can you move one, carry on, look
ahead and not behind when what you left
behind or what has left you behind has left
a great big dent in your life?
How can you one day passionately love someone
then the next day passionately love someone else?

Everything happens for a reason.
What's meant to be will always find it's way.
You've got to go through a few wrong ones to find
the perfect one.
Really I could go on and on.....

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Live Easy.

I'll save the apologies for another time..

I feel that people nowadays are just to worried
about changing the next person specially if it's
someone they are dating. I say this: obviously
this person isn't someone you want to share anything
with if you're too worried about changing them.
Live easy.
This person isn't for you or your life.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Monday, November 1, 2010

Live a self approved life. Muahhhhh!

I complain.
I fuss.
I fight.
I cry.
I exhaust myself.
But at the end of the day my destiny is in His
He gives me all I need and more than I deserve.
He guides me through trials and tribulations
to only deliver me with an abundance of blessings.
I question him sometimes but it is within my human
nature to do so not realizing that all He is doing
is fpr my betterment.
I should thank Him everyday of my life just for
the simple fact that I am alive and breathing
but I don't.
Not because I don't want to but because I simply
haven't made it a habit and I should.
I should be able to thank God every single day
of my living life for all He has done along the way
for me.
Today, with a smile on my face, I want to thank Him
for being there side by side.
Lifting me when I needed
him, cheering me on when I needed him.
Whispering simple things into my ear when I needed a reminder.
For blessing me with this amazing life, these
amazing people, these negative people, these
poeple that have made me grow, helped me grow, pushed me
down, picked me up.
For every single thing; big or small.
I am thankful for them, from the bottom of my heart.

xSinged___JNF. ♥

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Move on...

"See there's this place in me where your
fingerprints still rest, your kisses still
linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's
the place where a part of you will forever
be a part of me."

-Gretchen Kemp

It'll be 1 year in November.
I still feel your lips on mine.
Your warmth.
Your love.
God only knows how much I miss you.
I know what you did to me was wrong.
Everything came undo but...
I can still feel your forehead kisses.
I can still feel your hands playing with my hair.
I can still feel how you passionately caressed my body.
I can still hear all the beautiful things you used to
tell me.
I can still see your smile.
One year ago...
How time flies...
This was for the better of us...
Time will show me...
But it's been one year...
Move on...
I wonder if you think of me?...
Move on...
Do you roll over in bed & wished I was there?...
Move on...
Do you wish to call me when life is taking you by?...
Move on...
One year ago...
How time flies...
Move on...

xSigned___JNF. ♥

I yearn.

I yearn for someone, something.
Forehead kisses.
Holding hands.
Someone to share my all with.
Good or bad.
I understand now what commmunication brings.
I want you to want me.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Thursday, October 7, 2010


"But how will I know who my soul mate is?"

"By taking risks," Wicca said to Brida."By
risking failure, disappointment, disillusion,
but never ceasing in your search for Love. As
long as you keep looking, you will triumph in the end."

-Paulo Coelho

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


This describes me currently.
I just want to conquer the WORLD!

"Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day...

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get
halfway through
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you?

- Billy Joel

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


I hope one day you don't regret loosing me.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Thursday, September 23, 2010

You reap what you sow.

I saw you. I had you. You saw me.
You savored me. We spent the night
in utter bliss in eachothers arms
without any hesitation. Then you
disappeared and that was the last
straw for me. I can't bear having
you so close yet so far away from
me. I can't let you keep using me.
I have chosen to not be readily-avaible
for you. I am tired of the same thing
over and over again with you. It is not
my problem that you hide your feelings,
run from them, and are scared of them.
I know what I want. I wanted you. Now I
want myself. I want to love myself. I
want to triumph and succeed for myself.
I wanted to do these things with you but
you pushed me over the edge. & I have
finally reached the bottom. Currently
climbing to the top with my own bare
hands. Skinning my knees on the way.
Blistering my heart. Just knowing that
I am doing this for one specific reason.
MYSELF. I will love one day again. I just
know it won't be you because this is what
I have chosen for myself. I have finally
let go of what was and started to understand
what is. You were right, you don't deserve me.
But I have learned. You have taught me lessons.
You have taught me to be just a bigger fighter.
I commend you for that. I still love you,
ofcourse. Falling out of love is hard but
I fell for something worse. I fell for betrayal
& now that's what I am currently getting over.
Your betrayal. But life goes on. So I guess
I will be completely fine. Scarred but fine.
Cautious but fine. I just know that nothing
in this world goes undone. You reap what you sow.

xSigned___JNF. ♥


It's been forever!
Just know that the swing of things
has enhanced. School has come to
a full circle now. I am just going
'round and 'round until break arrives.
I won't complain, it keeps me busy.
REALLY busy. So busy I have no time to
think about mediocre things. Alot has
happened in my life lately. Alot of good
things, alot of bad things. However I am
thankful for every single one of those

Now I bring to you this topic,
the single woman topic. I am utterly
tired of the repsonse I get for being
an independent, hard-working, single
woman. I would love to know what is
wrong with that? Why is it a problem
that, for now, I would love to be POWERFUL,
SUCCESSFUL & SINGLE all at the same time?
Why do I need a man in my life to do all
of the above? Society has molded our minds
to think that a woman is nobody without a
man. That women are doormats, that women
cannot succeed in this life without a man.
Well I will tell you otherwise. This is NOT
true! You can be anyone you want to be in
this world if you persevere, if you push
through all of your barriers, if you commit
yourself to it. WE were born alone, yes we
were. & yes I understand God did not put us
in this world to be alone becuase if that's
the case he would have only made one gender
but as a woman I can truly say that we have
become so dependent on men. Just to prove
this let's start with careers. When someone
asks me what is my major in school and I
reply with: "I am a Business Management
major with a double Minor in Economics
and Spanish and a Concentration in
Leadership" some look at me like I am
retarded leading to in short terms "that's
a males field." Then they follow with the
question "What do you want to do with that?"
As if that is a trick question, so I answer
"I want to work for a leading corporation, to
then fend out on own to my own business, preferably
a jointly owned company, to then later on in
my life be a business professor in an accredited
higher institution." That's when they really
loose it. We as woman has been pin-pointed with
so many labels and it's kind of sad. However, I
refuse to let those things get in the way of what
I want to do with my life. Will it be hard because
of my gender? Hell Yes! But I rather tell my problems
how BIG my God is!

Power to women all around the world!

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Monday, September 13, 2010

Tomorrow is not promised.

I wanted to share this with you all:

A couple of hundred years ago,
Benjamin Franklin shared with the world
the secret of his success. Never leave
that till tomorrow, he said, which you
can do today. This is the man who
discovered electricity. You think more
people would listen to what he had to say.
I don't know why we put things off, but if
I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot
to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of
rejection, sometimes the fear is just of
making a decision, because what if you're
wrong? What if you're making a mistake you
can't undo? The early bird catches the worm.
A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates
is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told.
We've all heard the proverbs, heard the
philosophers, heard our grandparents warning
us about wasted time, heard the damn poets
urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes
we have to see for ourselves. We have to make
our own mistakes. We have to learn our own
lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility
under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore.
Until we finally understand for ourselves what
Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is
better than wondering, that waking is better than
sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the
worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

-Grey's Anatomy

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Thursday, September 9, 2010


It's like you magically read my thoughts.
Today you texted me. I also saw you and your
actions by far spoke louder than anything.
This time I didn't hear your words. This
time I heard your actions and ohhhh did
they speak! They actually yelled and I
heard every single thing they were saying.
A lovetap, a hug, a kiss, and a conversation.
I couldn't have asked for more than that.
It was like your actions were reaching into
my heart and telling it to not beat so fast,
that everything will be alright. It
obliterated every question. I guess lesson
learned, no more anxiously trying to figure
out all the things that were not said.
No more reading too far between the lines.
Just taking it day by day, lovetap by lovetap.
God knows what he does, why he does it, how he
does it, and when he does it. Patience is a virtue.
However, I want to quit playing cat and mouse. I
desire you and I can't help the way I desire you.
I can still feel your lips on my cheek. I can still
feel the stubbiness of your unshaved face on mine.
I can still smell your scent........♥

xSigned___JNF. ♥

P.S School is going splendid guys :)
So many activities so little time!
Love all of my classes btw! :D
I hope you are all living a wonderful
life, hugs & kisses. xoxoxo.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Beautiful words can KILL YOU!

As I sit here and wonder. My mind
and heart go into bliss right before
they hit rock bottom. I wonder about
you everyday. If I'm going to see you
and will you text me or will you call
me. But who am I kidding? I guess only
myself! You asked so many questions and
I answered them but you didn't put my
answers to use. Now I wonder what was the
point of that night. That one summer night
that changed everything? You should have just
told me your wrong doings but never your
feelings. They did something to me. They
made me fly but cut my pretty wings
all at the same time. How does that happen?
How can words, beautiful words, make you
fly and crash all at the same time?
You see that's the thing about words, they
can mislead you. They can hurt you. They
can confuse you. But beautiful words?
Beautiful words can KILL YOU! Though
I've always said actions speak louder
than words, sometimes words can leave
endless echoes that repeat themselves
over and over again. Potentially driving
you to insanity. I sit here and wait for
your actions to speak but your words are
far louder than anything you are doing.
I guess it's time to plug my ears, to become
deaf. I won't hear your beautiful words
anymore. I will only be able to see your
actions. No actions, no progress, no me,
no us....

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Saturday, September 4, 2010

T H O U G H T S.

move on...
let go...
campus life...
your touch...
your smile...
your kisses...
hard work...

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Wednesday, September 1, 2010


Who was I kidding?! Why did I even have the
slightest idea that things were going to be
different. That you would change. That you
were actually, this time around, going to
be a friend; a REAL friend? I truly thank God
for giving me the strength to forgive you, but
I believe I should have been weak and immature
and not even have had the thought of forgiving you
running through my mind. But I did. I was strong.
I was freed. I was at peace and I forgave you.
You cried, crocodile tears, but you cried. That
night you appeared to be a man, a real man but
here we are back to square three. Back to you
being the same person. Back to your lies. & here
goes my heart getting confused, not knowing what
beat to follow. I guess when someone admits to
being ugly in the inside you should run, but
here I am standing here waiting for a miracle.
Waiting for something that obviously will never
happen. Waiting for some kind of sign. Here
goes my heart back to being in solace. You took
me so high only to drop me from the very top.
Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I let this happen.
Maybe I should just blame myself. My heart tells
me one thing but my mind is telling me another.
Do I listen to something that for the past 3
years has ferociously felt the need to direct
me to loving you? Or should I listen to
something that for the past year has told me
let go? I guess I should have ran that one day.
But I'm still standing here with arms wide open
waiting for the day that you either run into
them or they just get tired....I hope you
choose to run into them, it'll be tragic if
you don't.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

P.S Hey guys by the way 1st week of classes
are going great :) & I've been doing so much
& catching up with familiar faces also
meeting some unfamiliar ones! Much love to
you all; Keep reading! :D Kisses and hugs!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Summer 2010. (2)

SO my summer has come to an end! My dear summer.
The one where so many magical things happened
in. Now I sit here packing my room up to go off
to college for what is going to be a very
interesting semester. Overall I loved this
summer, how it started, ended, and everything
else in between. Farewell, summer 2010 and
HELLOOOOO Fall 2010. :)

Catch me later guys, love you all.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Sunday, August 22, 2010


Last night was an eventful night. Filled with
answered prayers. Filled with forgiveness. Filled
with realness and straight up truth. No matter
how angry I should be at the moment I am not.
I am the most peaceful person on earth at the
moment. I love to the extreme what last night
did to me. It changed me. I was able to forgive
a person that had done so much wrong to me because
there was regret, remorse, and realness on his part.
He freed me completely. I am not broken anymore.
I can sit here and admire my scars. I can touch
them and feel them and smile at them. I can
whisper to myself that it's finally over. That
I don't have to wonder or cry anymore. That it's
okay to stop being bitter and angry and forlorn
and confused. It's okay to sing to the world. It's
okay to boast my happiness. I am so glad I was
able to accept last night like a mature adult.
I just wish everyone would go through what I
am going through at the moment. I would love for
everyone to feel my happiness and my peacefulness.
It was a long road filled with so many things
but I have reached the end to only start a whole
new chapter of my life. I am renewed.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Summer 2010.

It's funny how one summer can change everything. It must be
something about the heat and the smell of chlorine, fresh cut
grass and honeysuckle, asphalt sizzling after late-day thunderstorms,
the steam rising while everything drips around it. Something about
long, lazy days and whirring air conditioners and bright plastic
flip flops from the drugstore thwacking down the street. Something
about fall being so close, another year, another Christmas, another
beginning. So much in one summer, stirring up like the storms that
crest at the end of each day, blowing out all the heat and dirt to
leave everything gasping and cool. Everyone can reach back to one
summer and lay a finger to it, finding that exact point when
everything changed.
-Sarah Dessen, That Summer

When I read this my whole summer flashed through my eyes. All the
good things that happened, all of the bad things that happened.
All of the new people I met and made memories with. All of my old
friends I got to hang out with and made new memories with. All of
the tears I cried. All of the smiles I cracked. All of the restless
nights. All of those shorts and hoodies nights. All of the bathing
suits I wore. All of the beaches and pools I went to. All of the
bbq's I enjoyed. All of the money I spent recklessly. All of the
pictures I took and didn't take. All of the adventures I encountered.
I wouldn't trade this summer for the world! And as it is coming to a
close I would love to thank God for absolutely everything that has
happened this summer. Summer 2010, you'll forever be my favorite
memory. ♥

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

There once lived a prince & a princess.

I've been hurt many a times, my heart is in solace.
It cries independently. It yearns everyday.
I want to love again with all of my might but
I fear that there will never be no one that will
have the strength to love me for me, understand me for me,
take me for me. You see I am jagged, some of my pieces are
missing. Nevertheless I still have faith that one day someone
will understand, not fully but somewhat, my nature. My deep,
loving, nature. Maybe there's a man out there that is as jagged
and as broken as I am in all of the right places fully ready
to put his pieces and my pieces together to make the perfect
imperfect picture.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

My heart talks.

There are so many things that I yearn for...
So many things that I am scared of...
No one will truly understand anyone else's
actions or words...
We say what we want and we do what we feel
needs to be done...
At times we do neither...
I need love...
straight from the heart...
perfectly imperfect...

It's the only thing that is going to save me...

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Dear you.

Dear you,

At first I was angry, very angry and resented. I was confused
and forlorn. I said everything that came to my mind, no matter
how hurtful those things were. I wrote things down, I wrote things
about you, about me, about us. As time went on my anger subsided,
my confusion didn't however. Never did I once tell you that I would
be all that you wanted but you still leaped for me, did the
imaginable for me, loved me. I learned the reason why we tore
eachother apart. I've been learning to cope with it also. But I
can't anymore because I know deep down if things would have been
different me and you would have still been one. And that bothers me,
it bothers me alot. But things weren't different, and we fought a
battle to at the end loose it. I know you win some and then you loose
some but I always wondered why did this specific battle, after 3 yrs.
of an on-going fight, did we have to loose it? I never have loved
someone the way I loved you. Everday day of my life for the past 9
months I have been asking the same questions over and over again,
WHY? Why us? Why me? Why you? What was the point of our love?
What was the lesson? Shouldn't there be something in the midst of
all this pain? Some type of hidden message that I should have known
by now? The only thing I want out of all of this is a second chance
to make things right and if things go left I know then that me and
you weren't made for eachother and that my questions would finally
be answered. I wouldn't have to sit here and ask myself, 'what if?'
every second of everyday. So young and already damaged by love....<|3

Sincerely, xSigned___JNF. ♥

Monday, August 2, 2010


(By the way these are my religious views!
I'm not trying to force them unto anyone
or offend anyone!)

This reminds me so much of God.
When I read this a couple of minutes
ago everything in me said GOD. I feel
that sometimes we might doubt God or
wonder where God might be in some instances
but let me just tell you all that
God will never leave you stranded or alone.
God will never forsake you nor mistreat you.
And no matter how many times you break his
heart he will never cease loving you.
Just remember to go looking for him everyday
of your life. When you're happy, vulnerable,
lonely, in need of guidance, any need you
may have or any good news you might want to
share go direct yourself to the only best friend
you have that has stood by you ever since the day
you were an embryo. He loves you powerfully,
truthfully, and faithfully; no matter what.

Listen closely and silence the resistance
and doubt of your mind if you want to hear Me
I am the calm beneath the chaos of your mind
And speak only in whispers

Let go and feel with all your heart if you want to touch Me
I cannot feel you
If you are afraid to feel me

See Me in the most unfavorable of circumstances
I do not show myself
Where you already feel comfort

Stop and smell how beautiful life is in every circumstance
My fragrance can only please you
If you are looking for it

Taste Me even when you have nothing to eat
For I alone can sustain you
Through whatever may come

Look off the beaten path to find me
For I do not dwell in the terrain that is already known

I am the subtle behind the obvious
And the peace beyond the chaos
I am the bringer of all things
And the doer of all deeds
I am the wind at your back
And the light of your soul
I am the love that's within you
And the love that's trying to find you

I'll give you all your hearts desire
All you have to do
Is let me in
Be brave and see what happens
I'll be waiting for you to begin

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Last time I saw my heart.

I haven't been on this for idk like 3 days and that's bad =/
So many things have been happening in my life...some bad
some good. My mind is everywhere at once and my emotions
are going for the ride with my mind. Seems to me like it's
been an endless array of tiresome things and I dislike the
fact that people close to me are making me feel this way.
Nevertheless that's life right? The people you love most
are the ones that can make you feel amazingly great one day
and can completely destroy you the next day. I don't think this
is a fair thing but once again that's life and life isn't fair.
It takes people out of your life that aren't suppose to be taken,
it makes you cry, it makes you happy, it makes you want to run
away. It puts people in your life that only bring negativity, it
puts people in your life that make you smile; it does all these
great and bad things all at the same time yet we have to keep
ourselves completely sane through it all. *SIGHHHHH*

Another thing, it's one thing to love and be loved back but it's
a COMPLETELY different thing to not love and expect to be loved

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Beautiful girls all over the world...

Almost two months without talking to you and tonight you called.
I couldn't believe my eyes. My heart skipped a couple of beats
and I started to kind of shake. A huge smile slowly crept on my face.
We somewhat updated eachother about our lives. You told me you had
been thinking about me that's why you called. We hung up and so
many memories seeped in and replayed in my head. I'm sitting here
smiling. Wishing time could speed up to the day where I get to see
you again.

These are the things that give me a little more hope.
These are the things that confuse me.
These are the things that make me wonder about God's
plan with us. Maybe his plan is done, his mission complete.
Or maybe it has just begun, maybe this is just the beginning
of us. Maybe what we went through was a test to see what we
really wanted, to make us stronger.
Or maybe I'm just kidding myself. Maybe I'm just reading
in between the lines too much. Maybe this is all in my head.
Maybe one day I will see what truly is and what truly isn't.
Until then I'll wonder and hope that you are the one for me.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Love will do the rest.

Love will do the rest
by Mastin Kipp

Beginnings are never easy
So much is still unknown
So many desires seeking fulfillment
Collide with the patient trust that
Everything is as it should be
Love does not rush
No masterpiece ever does
You do not plant the seed of a rose in the morning
And ask it to blossom by the afternoon
Lust is the first one in
And the first one out
But love...
Love is cool, calm and collected
It plays tricks on you to keep you honest
Love is a patient comedian
Who helps you to get over the fearful ego
So you have the fearlessness to BE with yourself and another
I do not ask for easy beginnings
Because I know that the One meant for me will stick
With no effort on my behalf
There is no striving for love
There is no convincing love to stay
There is just you
Your fearlessness
And trust...
Love will do the rest

One day just the two of us it will be.
I am just patiently waiting for this day
to come. I know it will come, I just know it.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The mirror of our hearts.

The Mirror of Our Hearts
By Mastin Kipp

I have traveled far
And followed my Heart with every step
I have learned discernment through being cheated
I have learned forgiveness through betrayal
I have learned to love myself through abandonment
I have created wealth by not needing more than I have
And I have found Love by leaving a vulnerable space
That only it could fill
This path I have taken has not been easy
The twists, the turns, the lessons and burns
Each of them have been perfect
Not easy
But perfect
My Heart has lead me into and through the dark night
And guided me to the safe havens of friends who I've known for many lives
Each step, each hint, each intuition has brought me closer to Love
I do not regret
I do not blame
I do not look back in shame
I am only grateful for the gift of being no longer afraid
And now that I have found myself
I am ready to find you
We have known each other before
But not in this Life
We will meet where we deserve to meet
Staring into the mirror of our Hearts
And remaining when others have run away

I still have lots to travel.
I still have lots to gain.
I still have lots of failing & getting up to do.
I still have lots to learn.
However, this describes my journey
so well, so far. This is me in every essence.
I love how I find things like this & can nod
my head all the way through it without doubt
in my heart. I am not ashamed of who I am nor
of who I will be in the near future. I know what
I am capable of. I know my strengths, my weaknesses.
All I want in this life is for someone to be able
to accept them. To be able to let me lead when I need
to do so, to let me follow when I need to. All said
& done the end of this poem stated it correctly...

"...And now that I have found myself
I am ready to find you
We have known each other before
But not in this Life
We will meet where we deserve to meet
Staring into the mirror of our Hearts
And remaining when others have run away."

One day, just one day...♥

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Sad love.

I am not scared of the dark.
I am just scared of what might be lurking in it.
I am not scared of heights.
I am just scared of falling.
I am not scared of failing.
I am just scared of failing & not giving it another try.
I am not scared of trying to do my best at something.
I am just scared it will go unnoticed.
I am not scared of being alone.
I am just scared of being lonely.
I am not scared of loving.
I am just scared of not being loved back.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Monday, July 12, 2010

A year from now.

LOVE; it's this deep overwhelming feeling
that lives within an enamored being. It can
break you, but remember that it's better to
be broken and be able to mend than to be
shattered overall. I've loved before and I
am still loving with an intense passion.
That's the cynical thing about love, long
after it's gone from your grasp it still
lingers in your heart. However, just know
that everyday that passes the memories will
dim. The pain weakens. You'll learn how to
live without this certain person's love. I
would have loved that this would have been
it. That no mater what we would have both
fought with all of our might because of
the number one reason that kept us together,
LOVE. Nevertheless, this wasn't so. I just
want to say that throughout life we go
through mishaps so we can appreciate our
fortunes. I will love one day again and of
this I have no doubt of.

Listen to this song:
A year from now by Across Five Aprils.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Saturday, July 10, 2010

In the midst of everyday activities.

So yesterday in the midst of a bus station, blaring music
in my ears, a man who appeared to have some type of
disfunction, people staring, walking, the hot breeze,
tall buildings & many cars I started to write
the second part of my excerpt for my book. It was so
crazy how all of these ideas came to me just from watching
a man who appeared to have some type of disfunction. I wasn't
sure if it was down syndrome or something of that sort. Anyways
what I loved the most about it was that he inspired my ideas.
He made my mind soar. He made me write about 6 pages of roaring
feelings and I loved every second of it.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

"Hey miss can I take you out to dinner?."

When is the right time to pursue a new relationship?
Right now I feel as if I have so much baggage.
So many things that I have to carry & I definitely don't
want to confuse myself further or hurt someone who doesn't
deserve to be hurt. However what do you do when you have so
many opportunities to start new? To start fresh? Do you
simply finally put your feelings behind you & take a leap
of faith or do you just wait until you're fully healed?
But when are you fully healed? When do you become repaired
enough to acutally go to dinner with a guy who has been pursuing
you for quite some time? What if you wait too long & that
opportunity passes you by? Doesn't that lead to more confusement?
Doesn't that lead to many more questions? Many more 'what ifs'?
But then again what if you do give it a try & it ends up not
being what you wanted it to be & you end up even more hurt
& also hurt that other person in the process? But
what if it ends up being all you've been searching for?....

In conclusion only you will know when to jump or stay seated.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Sunday, July 4, 2010

One love.

Aren't you tired of the running around? Don't you want to be my only one? Baby here I am, I'm your girl. One mind, one heart, one love. Take my hand this was made to last forever..♥

Mood: ANGRY!

Damn it when will this all end? When will I stop loving you?
Why must I continue to hurt? It's been 8 months already I should
be somewhat better, right? WRONG! Yea all that other shit I write
about being on square three & not looking to the past & it feeling
'damn good' is bullshit but I need to write things like that. It's
my source of strength. It's the only thing I can do to move forward,
day by day. When will I stop crying? This shit kills me knowing how
you're fucking going around jolly as shit enjoying your life while I
mourn our love lost, while I see you in my dreams, while somedays I
wakeup in the morning and fucking hope it's the day I see you. I've
been through heart break before but nothing compares to this shit.
This shit is real & I keep telling myself it will pass like the
prior one but this is difficult. It doesn't want to pass, it's not
like I'm telling myself it's going to be. I can't seem to shake you
& it seems like everyday our memories find their way deeper into my heart...

This is strenuous.
I just want it to end one way or another, it's about time.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Friday, July 2, 2010

A different kettle of fish.

So I'm single again, whatever that means..

I wish I could write every single emotion I
feel. Every thought that runs through my head.
Every word that comes to my mouth but that would be
dangerous. That would be fatal. It would destroy me.
It's like every single thing I am feeling is glued to
my soul and deep down I know I want to let it go but
superficially I refuse to do so. & I have no idea
why I refuse to do so. He was in my dreams
last night again..& another tragedy has struck my
home today. All I know is that God didn't make me
for failure, that's all I know.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Emotional rollercoaster.

My emotions have been eveywhere nowadays.
One moment I know exactly what I want the
next I don't have a clue of where I'm headed.
I know God has lots of plans for me I know
that I should be patient. But what happens
when you feel like you've been patient
enough? Yes I know it sounds extremely greedy.
But that's exactly how I feel. I feel like
I've been patient enough. For 7 months I have
been mourning a love lost & I want to stop
mourning it. I want things to be right already.
I want to be able to get into a relationship
with no strings attached. Currently I'm in one
but I already see signs of a failed relationship.
So why am I in it you may ask? Because I get closure
from him. I get warmth, attention, love. But that's all
nothing else. I get no intimacy. (& by intimacy I mean
sweet kisses, long hugs, walks in the park or along a
beach while holding hands, no cuddle time) & that's because
I don't let him get close to me, I don't want him to get close
to me. I have this bubble around me that prohibits him from
getting too close. He's nice, really nice (& good looking)
but that's all there's too this. A nice face I can look at
whenever I feel like this world is defeating me. I'm really
fucked up & I'm tired of being fucked up...

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Monday, June 28, 2010

Sleeping memories.

Today I dreamt of him, like every other day.
These were the exact words in my dream that
came out of his mouth: "I'm not even going to
lie after November I was in a thinking phase but
I decided to wait for the right one. The one whose
going to be there for me 100% and give me her all. No
doubt you were there for me but you only gave me 25%
of you." (& then my 3 yr. old brother decided to
savagely knock on my door and awoke me!) This however
will haunt me forever the fact that I never got to show
him the real me. The real me everyone so dearly loves
& cares for. The girl I thought he was refusing to see
but in reality I was the one refusing to show him. This
answers the one question I always asked myself, "How can
everyone see & admire all of my beautiful assets but he
can't?" Well that's because I never allowed him to see them.

Maybe one day I'll get another opportunity to do so...

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Days like today.

It's days like today that I hate the most.
Days like today that make me extremely mad.
All of the strength I've been mustering up to deal
with all of these emotions has partially crumbled.
It's days like today that make me realize how lonely
I am without a certain kind of affection. I don't want
prince charming, nor a knight in shining armour. All I want
is for a MAN to come into my life and save me from days like today.
I want him to love me profoundly so I can do the same.
I want someone I can finally share the rest of my life
with and be happy that he's the person I am spending
the rest of my life with. I'm tired of dealing with
this stereotypical pain. This stereotypical heartbreak.
When will this all end?

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Friday, June 25, 2010

Back to square three.

After about a month without hearing from you,
today out of all days, you decide to call me.
It was kind of weird to hear your sweet voice,
that I so many nights had yearned to hear. I
dismissed your call blatantly,telling you that
I was busy & couldn't talk, without giving you
a chance to respond I hung up. I refrained myself
from texting you but I did anyways.Now I am sitting
here waiting for you to text back and I have realized
that I am back at square three but that's a good thing,
atleast I am not back at square one. Atleast this
ache isn't so bad as it were to be if I would be
standing back at square one. Atleast this desire
for you to text me back isn't as big as if I were
to be standing in square one. It's funny how things
work in life..I thought I would never be able to move
from square one, but here I am standing on square three
not wanting to glance back past my shoulder..Now I am
here standing in square three looking forward and it feels damn good.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Thursday, June 24, 2010


Cheating is for cowards.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Hidden beneath a mask.

When someone USED to love you, make sure you USED to love them also.

It definitely is not easy and I can vow to that.
I know what it's like to go sleepless through the night.
I know about that unbearable ache in your chest.
I know about all the rummaging questions that surpass
your head, so many at a time that it seems as if your
head might explode. I know what it's like to have your
mind made up one day & the next day be back at square one.
I know all about it but I also know what I am worth...& so
should you. This might sound cliche but what's meant to be
will always find it's way no matter what. & for the record
we don't ever stop loving someone we just learn how to live
without that certain person's love.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Single, young & lonely..

"You're young and single and have your whole life ahead of you. Enjoy it while you've got it."

If there is a day that doesn't go by where I don't hear this expression I would be called a liar..
I'm tired of hearing this honestly.
Tired of it because I don't have my whole life ahead of me. Tomorrow is not promised.
Tired because I don't enjoy being single all of the time. What about the lonely nights?
Yes I am young I understand but I'm tired of being told this.
We weren't made to be alone. Friends & family, you may ask? I've got the best of both worlds when it comes to them but there's always an empty space family and friends CAN NOT fill.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Old memories..

So today I decided to look through all of my old school stuff and throw alot of it out because it was just taking up space but I stumbled upon more than just old school work...

Old cards, old pictures, old letters, old memories.
Some made me happy, others angry, others thoughtful.
Alot of the stuff I stumbled upon was from a love lost, *sighhhh*.
I'm at the point where I have no idea what to do with all of my feelings (& neither would you if I told you them). Sometimes I know what I want and then there's other days when I am completely oblivious to what I truly want. There are days where I completely know I want to move on and then come those dreaded days, where I get a text or a phonecall and then it's back to square one. Maybe it's not going to be easier than what I thought. Maybe my heart won't let go that easily. Though I keep saying I want to let go, my heart is telling me otherwise (STUPID STUPID STUPIDDDDD HEART!) Last night I was talking to a dear and close girlfriend about this whole situation and she told me that when I am fully committed to letting go God will help me with the rest (fully being the KEY word here!) So I asked myself if I was fully ready to let go? Fully ready to abandon all hope? fully ready to leave all of this in my past?

I'm ready but not fully..

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Thoughts. ♥

I am a student. I have commitments in my classes that are very important, commitments that I am paying a lot of money to keep. However, I know that sometimes it's more important to comfort a friend at 2am because of something they are going through than it is to continue studying. And I know that sometimes, Sunday night trips are much more needed than a Sunday night doing lots of homework. And if a friend is in need, I will drop everything to be anything I can be to them. I will gladly give up a night of sleep or a few hours of studying because I know that these relationships that I'm forming will mean more to me in the long run than an "A" on a test will.

I love my family. I love spending time with them. What's more than that? I enjoy spending time with them. If you don't like it, too bad. Family values are important to me. If anyone talks bad about my family, they'll get an earful. Because though they may annoy me sometimes, I will defend them to the death. Even if they're wrong, if you badmouth them, I'll defend them. That is something I can promise. & though we may not have it all together, together we have it ALL.

I like going on walks. I like holding hands. I like going to the beach, no matter what time it is. I like looking at the stars and I would love to go hiking one day. I love falling asleep in the arms of someone who loves me and I love waking up in their arms as well. I like being kissed on the forehead and having my back rubbed. I hate massages no matter who they're from -- they hurt. If you attempt to give me one, I might have to kill you. Guaranteed. I love taking pictures; I don't like when people complain that I take too many. I love laughing, I love being silly, I love when people aren't afraid to be silly sometimes. I love cartoons. I love board games. I love to sing, even though I'm not very good at it. If you ask me to sing for you, I probably won't. It has to be spontaneous. Music is important to me. I love cards. I love getting mail, but I like sending it even more. Writing is my passion -- get used to it. Even the simplest language is beautiful if phrased correctly. I don't like when people use "their" instead of "there" or "your" instead of "you're". Once in a while, a mistake is okay -- every time you use it is not.

I have very strong opinions. I will share them, but only when I feel so inclined. Generally speaking, I think before I speak, sometimes -- especially in large groups. But once you get to know me, I am an open book. Don't be put off by my apparent shyness because shy is the last thing to describe me accurately. I love when people open doors for me and pull out my chair for me but I usually forget and try to do it myself. I want to be respected -- I want my feelings to be respected and my thoughts to be respected. More than anything else, I want my body to be respected. I know how to be sexy, I know how to be desirable. I choose not to be those things because I do not want what comes when one intentionally creates a sexy persona. I like being told that I'm beautiful inside and out -- because this is something I strive to be. However, I want my boundaries respected.

I'm not always as confident as I seem. There are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. Sometimes I don't want to talk about what is bothering me, sometimes I just want a hug, someone who will let me cry. I like when people aren't afraid to show what they're really feeling. I don't like when people run from their true feelings because it doesn't do anyone any good eventhough I tend to do just this. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt. "I know what it's like to see something funny and not laugh." I've been taken advantage of, used, and abused. My feelings have been blatantly disregarded. But I still believe that all people are good at heart and my trust in people has not diminished. To be completely honest, I hope it never does. Ever.

I love long hot showers and the feeling of my teeth after they have been brushed. I do not like the dentist or the doctor. I'll probably gripe about going to both of them, no matter how necessary it might be. Clowns are my phobia -- so are spiders and bugs of any kind. Buzzing is my least favorite sound and it can easily drive me insane. If there is a buzzing sound in the room, don't expect me to pay attention to anything else.

I like food, lots of food, even if it's not good for me. I like Shakespeare, even though I don't understand his writings most of the times. I love to learn. I like things that make you think, things that make you reexamine your beliefs. I'm not comfortable talking openly about sex. Sometimes I am verbally impotent.

I do not like being told things just to make me happy. I would rather be told the truth and be hurt than be "protected" and happy. I overreact a lot. Don't be afraid to tell me I'm wrong or out of line. I like people who are strong enough to face me when I'm raging. People who will let me be angry for a little while. People who won't think less of me for my sporadic mood swings. When I'm hurt, I withdraw. I threaten to run away from the situation that is causing me pain. All I want is to be told honestly that I'm loved, that I should stay -- sometimes I need to hear it multiple times. But if you'll be a little persistent, I'll give in. If I really love you, I might start picking fights over stupid things, for no reason. It means I'm bored. That things have gotten monotonous. I hate just going with the flow -- I always want things planned out. I'm indecisive -- there are too many things I would really like to do and I'm afraid the people I love most won't like what I choose.

I am afraid of being lonely, of having my heart broken -- even though I know these feelings very well. Of not being appreciated or wanted. Of people not knowing how much they mean to me. I'm afraid of drowning, of loosing my breath and of not understanding. I'm not afraid to be myself or of interacting with people who are different than me. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm wrong, but I will rarely admit it publicly.

My selected friends are the most important people in the world to me. I enjoy being with them, no matter what we do. That's just how I am, it's how I've always been. I will probably always be this way. I will not date one of my guy friends if they have previously dated or pursued one of my girl friends. I respect those boundaries far too much to destroy a friendship for a relationship that might not last. My best friend in the entire world above anyone else is Ciara Nicole. Regardless.

I like hot popcorn and brand new pens. I love paper. I love the smell of new books and new houses and new cars. I love bread and soft serve ice cream -- not together though! I love sweatpants and jeans more than anything. I love being comfortable and I love being told that I'm beautiful, even if I'm in sweats and my hair is a mess. I am just as comfortable in a skirt as I am in sweats. I love to work, it makes me feel productive and useful. It keeps me from being idle. I hate feeling useless. I love staying up late and I love sleeping though I will never sleep enough. Coloring is fun, drawing is not.

My favorite animal is a yorkie (dog). One day I will own one and name her Bella. My favorite color is pink. I detest math eventhough I am a Business major and will have to take it for the rest of my college career. I don't understand science. I love reading for hours on end, especially outside on a sunny day. I love the sun. I love being warm. I hate being cold.

I support and appreciate people who can argue their point in an educated manner, who have a logical reason for things -- even if I don't agree. I don't like when people can't support themselves. I don't like laziness. I'm trying to learn how to disagree without being disagreeable and I admire people who know how. I like sappy letters. I love to cuddle. I love being close. I love having friends and I love laughing with my friends -- especially during class. I love praying. I'd rather be cold than hot, eventhough if you have been reading carefully I stated that I hate being cold. Christmas and Valentine's Day are my two favorite holidays. I love birthdays and Christmas because they bring people together. I admire integrity and honesty -- I love when people aren't "too tough" to forgive. I love best friends and old friends and I love when new friends become old friends.

Florescent lights always make people look weird and I don't understand why clothing stores always put them in dressing rooms. There are a lot of clothes I am too self conscious to wear, a lot of clothes I don't think I can pull off. But sometimes I'll try. I love good smelling lotions and shampoos, especially the Victoria's Secret line -- those who know me best know that this is a fact. I love when guys wear cologne. I love wearing a guy's sweatshirt when it smells like him. But only when that smell is good. I love laughing so hard I cry. There are certain four letter words that the world would be better off without. I'm not unhappy with the way I look, but I don't always think I'm pretty. If you tell me I look good and I diagree, I'll probably tell you, but I'm not fishing for compliments. I'm not asking you to roll your eyes and think that I'm doing it because "it's a girl thing." I'm telling you because there are certain days and moments when I really don't feel pretty. Those are the days I change my clothes six times before deciding which shirt I want to wear.

I believe in love. Real, true, amazing, passionate love. I believe in my self. I believe in other people. I will never give up on the people I really care about, even if they break my heart a thousand times. I believe in God and I know He will never give up on me even if I break His heart a thousand times.

I could fill a book with my thoughts and someday I will. I love the city but I would rather live in the suburbs and be happy. I want to be a wife, a mother, and a friend. I want to help others, starting with my family. I want to love others, starting with myself.

I love blankets -- even in the summer. I love fans even in the winter. Fresh air and natural light cure just about anything. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a purpose, that it is up to us to discover that purpose and that more often than not, we won't understand, even if we find an answer. Regardless, I believe that everything works out for the best. Always.

In the words of Langston Hughes --
"I like to eat, sleep, drink, and be in love.
I like to work, read, learn, and understand life."
I don't like words I can't fully grasp the concept of especially when they're used in everyday conversation. I think clichés are amusing and though I feel weird using them to justify things, I do anyway. But only sometimes.

I like not wearing shoes. I love over-sized hand bags. I have a soulmate. I talk to things that can not talk back. I am very emotional. I do random things out of anger. I love Uggs, no matter "how ugly they are". I rather have my hair straight than curly. Love songs are amazing, period the end. I love Christian music and I can listen to classical music for days. I dislike icky stuff, smelly stuff, things that aren't appealing to my taste, boring days, being frustrated, crying, stressful moments, failing and not giving it another try, noise specially alot of it, distasteful music, people who downgrade others just because, and sullied things.

I like people who can make me laugh. I don't blush easily, but if I do, it means something. I like people who make me think about things. People who willingly put up with my absentmindedness and like it. Common sense has always been one of my strong points. I'm not afraid to laugh at myself -- this took me quite some time to achieve, nor am I afraid to laugh at other people. I have a hard time letting go and when I love, I love deeply. People who respect themselves, boys who love their moms. I want to be adored and when I date a guy, I want him to be absolutely stoked about me. And I want it to be okay that I'm stoked about him. I don't want to be told that I'm loved, I want to be shown. If a guy tries to pay for me, I'll pretend to be objective and I'll never expect it but I'll always appreciate it. I will never admit that I'm interested in someone unless I know they are interested in me. If you hurt me, I'm going to talk to my friends about it. I'm a relational person, that's what I do. If I'm angry at you, I may not always tell you about it. I will try to work things out and if I have my way, we will work things about before going to bed. I believe strongly in the scripture in Ephesians that advises not to let the sun go down on your anger.

I'd rather have a homemade picnic in the park than go to a fancy restaurant. I like homemade cookies. I'd rather give you something sentimental than something practical but I'm not against practicality. If I'm shopping and something silly catches my eye and makes me think of you, chances are you'll be receiving it shortly thereafter. Silly gifts make life enjoyable.

Inside jokes are amazing, remember whens are mind blowing. I love orange juice. I don't like eating red apples whole. If something is broken, I'll probably leave it broken until I need it next. I would rather carry out the plans than create the plans. I love beginnings, but I know that endings have to come before beginnings can happen. Some of the most beautiful things in my life have ended but endings bring about strength and teach lessons that could never have been learned otherwise. And I can definitely appreciate that.

xSigned___JNF. ♥