Monday, June 24, 2013

One year later...

"I want to fight and argue and still love my significant other no less.
I want to be as infatuated with this person as the first day.
I want to leave the country for 2 weeks only to come back & feel like I had never left.
I want to be madly in love all the time, no matter what & I want my significant other to feel the same way.
I want to be crazy about someone every waking day of my life & I want someone to be crazy about me.
I want to love and be in love and most importantly I want to be loved back.
I want a person that can love even the dirtiest corners of my soul because I know I can reciprocate this.
I want a person that is strong enough to face me when I'm raging yet gentle enough to know when to hold me when I'm weak.
I want to be married for 30 years and act like a school-child when my husband leaves the country.
I want someone, all of someone, forever."


I wrote this exactly 1 year ago 2 days before my new relationship started in my post "I want someone, all of someone, forever!" and 1 year and a couple of months later it is amazing how I feel exactly like this. Now you may say "1 year? That's nothing!" but in one year so many things can happen and transcend. That's exactly what has happened.

We have been in the deepest darkest places of our relationship. We have disagreed. We have cried. We have let the sun go down on our anger (NEVER IN A DISRESPECTFUL manner, we don't call each other ugly names and neither do we even think about physically hurting each other, if that's what you were thinking!) but here we stand stronger than ever, mapping and planning our future together. We have known each other for 6 years and had a very casual friendship when I was in high school and he started college. I used to give him girlfriend advice relating to his then girlfriend and about 1 year of not talking we reconnected and here we are in a beautiful, loving, giving relationship.

6 years ago this man came into my life but little did I know that at the end of those 6 years God was going to completely cross our paths. It's so amazing how life works, when you least expect it you get all that you want and more. He's my best friend. My companion. The only man in my life that willingly takes me higher when I'm already high. He's always ready to trek any road with me, shoes tied and arms wide open. His love soothes any and every wound and no matter how low I am he always manages to bring me back up. He loves me under any condition and at every circumstance, yes even when we argue and disagree! I love him so much and he makes me so proud! I know he will make the best husband and daddy a woman could ever ask for. I always prayed for good love and asked God to send me the man I deserved when I was ready and here he is. In my life, making me the happiest woman alive!

Every woman deserves what I have. An understanding, loving, patient, strong, handsome man but it doesn't come easy. It's lots of hard work, lots of soul searching. You've got to reach rock bottom before finding your true soulmate and EVERYONE knows I did! I had my share of douchebags and it feels so liberating to have a real man in my life! This one is for you baby! I love you more than life.



x___JNF.

FriendENVY?

The little friends I do have I always encourage them. I applaud their achievements and push them to further do more. Why? Because I wouldn't expect less from them. There's someone in my life, in my inner circle to be more exact, that every time I do something that I'm proud of she shuts my feelings down. Even something as little as posting a picture on my Instagram she ALWAYS has a smart remark or something negative to say.

I believe in always rewarding those you love with kind words, gifts of ANY kind, hugs, kisses, LOVE and I do just that because I treat people the way I would like to be treated! But some in my inner circle have fallen short of that and it truly saddens me. I love my life and each day I try hard to make it better than the day before.

I urge you to not be envious of those who seem to be doing better than you, or seem to have a better relationship than you or a better life, PERIOD! You have no idea how hard they worked to be where they are or get what they have. Hard work brings about the most fruitful things. Always remember that you reap what you sow. Don't be so closed minded that you chase away those who love you genuinely. EVERYONE has different opinions and no one sees things through the same spectrum.

And always always ALWAYS remember "If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it at all!"

X___JNF.

Be a QUEEN!

Women is always my favorite topic.
Being a woman, acting like a woman, carrying yourself as a woman, speaking like a woman, living like a woman, anything woman you got it I'll speak, read, write, sing, talk, ANYTHING about it!
The topic of womanhood is always a controversial one because people always have differing opinions about it. I love hearing all the different opinions about what does being a woman entail and I've heard it all! From "women should be at home tending to their duties" (ummmmm excuse me?!) to "women are as equal as men and should have equal opportunities" (that's more like it!)

I have my own opinions, like everyone else. I love what it means to be a woman. I love embracing what comes from being a woman but it daunts me that some people don't respect women for who they are and what they have to bring to this world.

I wrote this on my personal Instagram the other day:

"I urge women of all ages to educate themselves. To know that tomorrow is not promised and to engrave that in their hearts because a woman who is educated is admired by all. I urge women of all ages to free themselves of the shackles that past women have tied themselves with, the shackles of fear. Fear that without a man they will be nothing. Fear that their dreams will never come true if they are left to accomplish them alone. Go to school. Get four degrees. Live in India. Eat in Paris. Read books. Learn another language. Be a sponge and most importantly be a queen. A queen that tomorrow could be left with nothing but could still stand for everything."

If you can't help yourself, no one will be able to do so! It shocks me to see females stuck in the "I'm nothing without a man" phase. How do they plan on being in a healthy, wonderful, loving, and strong relationship with that mentality?!


Anyways, until the next time my darlings!

x___JNF.

Risen from the dead...?

Wow what a heck of a roller-coaster is has been the past 6 months! (Is that how long I've been gone?) Anyways so much has happened that I don't know where to begin. Post-graduation has proved to not be as euphoric as I thought it would be! I thought I had landed my dream job soon after graduation but a couple of months later proved that I was completely WRONG and shortly after I quit. I was miserable and hated going there every single day after a month of working there. I felt stuck and belittled and finally mustered the courage to just quit graciously. Now I sit at home trying to put all that I feel in a couple of sentences to update my blog (for whomever you are that reads this!!) I have been in the darkest depths of my soul the past couple of months and I have also been in the most beautiful parts but regardless of the emotional ride I have been on I have remained true to myself, my feelings, and those whom I love and love me back equally. Anyways you'll be seeing more of me because I'm jobless and have nothing to do! (I'm trying to be proactive about it but sleeping in, working out, blogging and sunbathing sound better than working!) DON'T JUDGE ME!

Toodles & Summer kisses!


x___JNF