Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Old memories..

So today I decided to look through all of my old school stuff and throw alot of it out because it was just taking up space but I stumbled upon more than just old school work...

Old cards, old pictures, old letters, old memories.
Some made me happy, others angry, others thoughtful.
Alot of the stuff I stumbled upon was from a love lost, *sighhhh*.
I'm at the point where I have no idea what to do with all of my feelings (& neither would you if I told you them). Sometimes I know what I want and then there's other days when I am completely oblivious to what I truly want. There are days where I completely know I want to move on and then come those dreaded days, where I get a text or a phonecall and then it's back to square one. Maybe it's not going to be easier than what I thought. Maybe my heart won't let go that easily. Though I keep saying I want to let go, my heart is telling me otherwise (STUPID STUPID STUPIDDDDD HEART!) Last night I was talking to a dear and close girlfriend about this whole situation and she told me that when I am fully committed to letting go God will help me with the rest (fully being the KEY word here!) So I asked myself if I was fully ready to let go? Fully ready to abandon all hope? fully ready to leave all of this in my past?

I'm ready but not fully..

xSigned___JNF. ♥

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