MY heart talks...

It tells me to give up, it tells me to hold on. It tells me it’s not worth it, it tells me it’ll cost everything. It tells me to try one more time, it tells me to put the cards down. It tells me to keep going, it tells me to stop running. It tells me don’t cry, it tells me just let it out. It tells me everything’s going to be okay, it tells me it doesn’t look too bright. It tells me to forget it, it tells me to hold on tight. It tells me it’s a mistake, it tells me don’t regret it. It tells me to forgive you, it tells me to hate you. It tells me to stop trying, it tells me don’t give up. It tells me to move on, it tells me to stay put. It tells me to stop hurting myself, it tells me to go after you. And I’m telling myself let go.. let go of the pain.. the unnecessary torment .. But how can I when I obviously still love you like this. How can I forget you when I see you first within a crowd of hundreds. How can I move on when I am so close.. How can I stop trying when I want to be with you so badly.. I’m stressing myself out, making my mind run miles and miles in circles. I can’t make up my mind on which direction to take. Slowly I feel like I’m losing myself, piece by piece. I’m trying so hard for you to open your eyes, and see what love really is. To see who’s really right here for you. And it doesn’t help that I keep changing my mind every five seconds, confused on what to do. You make me so indecisive. So unsure. Should I stay, should I go? Pack my bags and leave? Stay up all night, with my phone in my hand, hoping I’d come to mind when you look for someone to call? Should I press ignore? Accept? You’re giving me nothing but mix signals. Sometimes, I don’t even know why I bother.