Time waits for no one.

My life has been a blur the past couple of weeks. Between school, work, meetings, traveling, and everything else; I barely have time for myself. Anyways this blog post is not about how exhausted I have been instead to share with you something that recently happened to me but forgot to share.

So about a week ago I turned 21 years old. Before that, for the past 20 years of my life, I heard my parents tell me not to have a boyfriend until I had an established career. Not to take any relationship(s) seriously because I was young and all guys wanted to do was take advantage of me. Now that I am 21 it is a different ball game. The other day I had routinely called my mother and was talking to her. She had asked me how had I spent my first night being 21 and of course I kind of left out the part where I went to the bar and got drunk with my girlfriends like every 21 year old does. I proceeded to tell her that I was cold (I was walking to work at this point) and she replied with: "Well if you had a boyfriend he would have been warming you up." There was a silence on my end of the line. What was I suppose to say? I didn't know if this was a trick remark of some sort. She proceeded in telling me that it was about time that I went out there and found someone deem of me because I was "getting old" (MAJOR INSULT!). Basically my mother told me that time waits for no one. That it takes 2 people to find each other. Not just a woman sitting at home waiting for the "right man" to come find her because there isn't a "right man". That love will pull people together and break them apart but at the end of the day the only thing that counts is that you're willing to go out there and risk being pulled apart once more (she was referring to my ex-boyfriend here). I learned something new that day. Peace and Love kids!

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Everything Happens For A REASON?!

Recently something happened to me that I never in a million years would have thought it would have happened to me. I would disclose what it was but it's a bit personal so I rather not. I've always heard the saying "everything happens for a reason" I've even used it a couple of times in my life. OKAY maybe more than a couple of times. Up until about 3 days ago when this tragic thing happened to me did I really know the meaning of what it was. I was, and still kind of am, upset at the fact that this happened to me BUT I guess I can look at the positive side of this and tell myself that "everything happens for a reason". Just know that when the universe decides to attack you it's not because it has something personal against you, instead it is because it has it's own ways of making sure you are on the right track. Peace and Love kids!


xSigned___JNF. ♥

Send his ASS packing!

Hypocrisy is something I've never been fond of. I've never tolerated it but up until the other day did I notice that women are the biggest hypocrites alive. We say things we don't mean. We allow men to take advantage of us and when they turn their backs we say we'll put them in line then they tell us a sweet thing and POW we're back to being hypocrites. I KNOW that NOT all women are like this but some, okay MANY, are. Things happen in this world because we sometimes allow them too. Men cheat because we're either helping them cheat or forgiving them because they cheated. I assure you that if you set boundaries and even if it was just ONE time that he were to cross those boundaries and you sent his ass packing he would learn. If the next girl did the same thing and the one after that and the one after her and so on this world would be a much better place! Later kids.

xSigned_JNF. ♥

Love without expecting.

I've never denied being in love. I've never deliberately tried to convince myself to no longer love someone. Yes, I did love a person that consiously or subconsiously didn't love me back with as much passion as I did. Yes I physically, emotionally, and mentally gave myself to him so that instead he gave merely nothing in return. Yes this was the first man I had ever been intimate with. I was young, naïve, and passionately in love. Would I take it all back? Never. Never will I look back at this in regret for God doesn't put you through something you aren't able to handle and learn from. Some ask me why him and I reply why not? Everyone has the right to be loved for who they are no matter what. Everyone has the right to love risking to not be loved at all in return and that was my case. But I loved without expecting and not because I was dumb or young or whatever the case may have been but because that is how one should love; without expectations.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

Summer 2011! ♥

So summer has ended and Fall 2011 classes have begun. It's my senior year of college and I'm nervous and ecstatic all at the same time. This summer was filled with so many memories, good and bad. However, I'm entirely glad I experienced it. I spent money too recklessly, I had long nights, I took too little trips, I spent an array of time at the beach, I ate whatever and whenever! I cried, laughed, danced, slept all at the same time (Is that possible?). I worked an amazing job and met amazing people. I spent too little time indoors and too much time outside. Could my summer have been better? YES! But would I trade it for a re-do? HELL NO! Summers are for lessons, for mistakes, for new people andd old people. They are to be lived carefree with one thing in mind, make it a memorable one. As I kissed summer 2011 goodbye yesterday, I welcomed with open arms Fall 2011.

xSigned___JNF. ♥

I LOVE loving myself!

Single.. I've been 'single' for the past 2 years of my life. Not because I can't find anyone to be with, not because I am bitter and angry at my ex, not because I am not attractive and capable of having a long term relationship with someone, not because I want to be but because I can. I am attractive, intelligent, charismatic, and strong; in every sense of the word. Yes I can find someone to be with, but why haven't I? I get asked this question a lot. Why am I single? Why haven't I found someone to put a beautiful ring on my finger? I used to ponder those questions a lot but now I pay them no mind. I am about to be 21 years old in about 2 months and so what that I am single! I am currently in a relationship with myself and that's all that counts. I LOVE loving myself. Something I didn't quite do correctly for the past 4 years of my life. I have one piece of advice.. You only have one heart, be true to it.


xSigned___JNF. ♥

Closure.

"Don't let loneliness drive you back into the arms of someone you KNOW doesn't give a damn about you."

The other night I did this. I let my loneliness drive me back into the arms of someone I know (or atleast I think I know) doesn't give a damn about me. Funny thing is loneliness did the same thing for him. Maybe we both do care no matter how much we go around telling people we "just don't give a damn." Closure is something I have never understood. How many times do you get closure until you've satisfied that thirst within you to get closure? What is closure? Is closure when the other person blatantly tells you that he or she doesn't want anything to do with you anymore, forcing you to move on? Is closure when the other person tells you that things will never work out between the both of you? Is closure a kiss? Is it a hug? It is 'closure sex'? Is it a word of comfort? What exactly is closure? When defined it states that it is an act or process of closing something. How long is the act? How long is the process? It doesn't state. Can you go your whole life closing something? Because it seems to me that I've been closing this chapter of my life for the past couple of years but maybe what I need is this one little thing called closure. This one little thing that I have no idea how to go about. Do I write a letter? Send a text? Tell him to meet me somewhere so we can talk, like adults? Deep down what I really want is for him to look me dead in my eyes and tell me, "Jamie, you and I, will never be one." I also know deep down he wouldn't do this (it's a gut feeling! You know what they say about a woman's intuition!). But if he does do that then what? Have I gotten my closure?

xSigned___JNF. ♥