Perfect timing?

When is the perfect moment? When is it exactly right? At what moment do you say okay this is it because this is the most perfect moment?

You know I never understood that concept.. The concept of doing things at the perfect moment. Call me crazy but I think every moment of everyday is the perfect moment. That expensive dress collecting dust in your closet because there are no "special occasions" to wear it too? Hand it over to me because I will wear the life out of it! That perfume you're saving to go on the perfect date? Hand it over to me, it will be gone in less than a week! That matching bra and underwear set you bought saving it for a perfect night? Uhhhhh wait I won't wear this everyday but just know I will wear it more than once!

My point here is to help you understand that there are no perfect moments in the calendar so stop waiting for them. You! You are the dictator of these moments. I read this and shortly after finishing burst into tears...

"She was having the worst year of her life and I knew this because she was my girlfriend. She had lost her dream job over something minor, a close relative had died, her childhood pet had also died and she had no luck finding something to do she loved. After months upon months of searching she still had no luck. Her faith had diminished, even if it was a little bit. I still felt it. However I kept pushing her forward. This was the woman I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, though we had only been together for 1 year, I knew this. Everything about her was perfect for me. Before I ever thought about doing this, about proposing, it was just a mere flame but her love had fueled a passion. A passion for a future with her and only her. I didn't plan this because no day is perfect. I didn't sit down and jot ideas. I didn't have a speech handy, nothing. I went to a jewelry store and picked out the ring I knew she would love the most but most importantly a ring that represented our unity and our relationship. I carried this ring in my pocket for days that turned into weeks into months and now into a year. You see I was subconsciously waiting for the perfect day even though I knew deep down there were none. For the day everything got better in her life. A day that the sun was shining and the weather was perfect. I soon came to realize that I would be waiting forever if this was the case. So on a random day, trust me very random, (it was the worst weather ever; It was raining and thundering and windy - her worst nightmare she hates this weather) I wanted Thai food and to our luck we had a really good Thai restaurant about 3 blocks from us. So I asked if she wanted to come with me and she looked at me like I was crazy (you know that look) so I knew that was a no. Fast forward about 30 minutes she walks into my office and asked if I still wanted to go eat so I said yes and on we went into the weather that suddenly had gotten worse. She was frantically walking toward the restaurant and at this point our umbrella was nonexistent and I just dropped to one knee. It was like a magnetic force field, I lie to you not. So she turned around and told me exactly this "really Kevin you couldn't wait to tie your shoe in the restaurant!" And there and then I blurted it out "Priscilla will you marry me?".. The wind got worse, the rain got harder, the thundering got louder and she dropped to her knees with me and said yes. We didn't make it to the restaurant by the way. Instead we went back to my place and made dinner together."

The point of this story? There are no perfect days only perfect moments. I love the fact that Kevin turned Priscilla's worst year into the most beautiful one. He didn't wait for her to have a great year to propose. He proposed in the midst of chaos and troubles. This post isn't about proposing but It's about helping you understand that tomorrow isn't promised and that we have to take the good with the bad. Life throws us so many curve balls that sometimes we don't even know if we should dodge them or not. If you are waiting to do something big in your life or saving something for a special occasion I'm here to tell you not too. Don't wait. Do it tomorrow if you can. Or right now. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.

Peace and love!

One year later...

"I want to fight and argue and still love my significant other no less.
I want to be as infatuated with this person as the first day.
I want to leave the country for 2 weeks only to come back & feel like I had never left.
I want to be madly in love all the time, no matter what & I want my significant other to feel the same way.
I want to be crazy about someone every waking day of my life & I want someone to be crazy about me.
I want to love and be in love and most importantly I want to be loved back.
I want a person that can love even the dirtiest corners of my soul because I know I can reciprocate this.
I want a person that is strong enough to face me when I'm raging yet gentle enough to know when to hold me when I'm weak.
I want to be married for 30 years and act like a school-child when my husband leaves the country.
I want someone, all of someone, forever."

I wrote this exactly 1 year ago 2 days before my new relationship started in my post "I want someone, all of someone, forever!" and 1 year and a couple of months later it is amazing how I feel exactly like this. Now you may say "1 year? That's nothing!" but in one year so many things can happen and transcend. That's exactly what has happened.

We have been in the deepest darkest places of our relationship. We have disagreed. We have cried. We have let the sun go down on our anger (NEVER IN A DISRESPECTFUL manner, we don't call each other ugly names and neither do we even think about physically hurting each other, if that's what you were thinking!) but here we stand stronger than ever, mapping and planning our future together. We have known each other for 6 years and had a very casual friendship when I was in high school and he started college. I used to give him girlfriend advice relating to his then girlfriend and about 1 year of not talking we reconnected and here we are in a beautiful, loving, giving relationship.

6 years ago this man came into my life but little did I know that at the end of those 6 years God was going to completely cross our paths. It's so amazing how life works, when you least expect it you get all that you want and more. He's my best friend. My companion. The only man in my life that willingly takes me higher when I'm already high. He's always ready to trek any road with me, shoes tied and arms wide open. His love soothes any and every wound and no matter how low I am he always manages to bring me back up. He loves me under any condition and at every circumstance, yes even when we argue and disagree! I love him so much and he makes me so proud! I know he will make the best husband and daddy a woman could ever ask for. I always prayed for good love and asked God to send me the man I deserved when I was ready and here he is. In my life, making me the happiest woman alive!

Every woman deserves what I have. An understanding, loving, patient, strong, handsome man but it doesn't come easy. It's lots of hard work, lots of soul searching. You've got to reach rock bottom before finding your true soulmate and EVERYONE knows I did! I had my share of douchebags and it feels so liberating to have a real man in my life! This one is for you baby! I love you more than life.



x___JNF.

FriendENVY?

The little friends I do have I always encourage them. I applaud their achievements and push them to further do more. Why? Because I wouldn't expect less from them. There's someone in my life, in my inner circle to be more exact, that every time I do something that I'm proud of she shuts my feelings down. Even something as little as posting a picture on my Instagram she ALWAYS has a smart remark or something negative to say.

I believe in always rewarding those you love with kind words, gifts of ANY kind, hugs, kisses, LOVE and I do just that because I treat people the way I would like to be treated! But some in my inner circle have fallen short of that and it truly saddens me. I love my life and each day I try hard to make it better than the day before.

I urge you to not be envious of those who seem to be doing better than you, or seem to have a better relationship than you or a better life, PERIOD! You have no idea how hard they worked to be where they are or get what they have. Hard work brings about the most fruitful things. Always remember that you reap what you sow. Don't be so closed minded that you chase away those who love you genuinely. EVERYONE has different opinions and no one sees things through the same spectrum.

And always always ALWAYS remember "If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it at all!"

X___JNF.

Be a QUEEN!

Women is always my favorite topic.
Being a woman, acting like a woman, carrying yourself as a woman, speaking like a woman, living like a woman, anything woman you got it I'll speak, read, write, sing, talk, ANYTHING about it!
The topic of womanhood is always a controversial one because people always have differing opinions about it. I love hearing all the different opinions about what does being a woman entail and I've heard it all! From "women should be at home tending to their duties" (ummmmm excuse me?!) to "women are as equal as men and should have equal opportunities" (that's more like it!)

I have my own opinions, like everyone else. I love what it means to be a woman. I love embracing what comes from being a woman but it daunts me that some people don't respect women for who they are and what they have to bring to this world.

I wrote this on my personal Instagram the other day:

"I urge women of all ages to educate themselves. To know that tomorrow is not promised and to engrave that in their hearts because a woman who is educated is admired by all. I urge women of all ages to free themselves of the shackles that past women have tied themselves with, the shackles of fear. Fear that without a man they will be nothing. Fear that their dreams will never come true if they are left to accomplish them alone. Go to school. Get four degrees. Live in India. Eat in Paris. Read books. Learn another language. Be a sponge and most importantly be a queen. A queen that tomorrow could be left with nothing but could still stand for everything."

If you can't help yourself, no one will be able to do so! It shocks me to see females stuck in the "I'm nothing without a man" phase. How do they plan on being in a healthy, wonderful, loving, and strong relationship with that mentality?!


Anyways, until the next time my darlings!

x___JNF.

Risen from the dead...?

Wow what a heck of a roller-coaster is has been the past 6 months! (Is that how long I've been gone?) Anyways so much has happened that I don't know where to begin. Post-graduation has proved to not be as euphoric as I thought it would be! I thought I had landed my dream job soon after graduation but a couple of months later proved that I was completely WRONG and shortly after I quit. I was miserable and hated going there every single day after a month of working there. I felt stuck and belittled and finally mustered the courage to just quit graciously. Now I sit at home trying to put all that I feel in a couple of sentences to update my blog (for whomever you are that reads this!!) I have been in the darkest depths of my soul the past couple of months and I have also been in the most beautiful parts but regardless of the emotional ride I have been on I have remained true to myself, my feelings, and those whom I love and love me back equally. Anyways you'll be seeing more of me because I'm jobless and have nothing to do! (I'm trying to be proactive about it but sleeping in, working out, blogging and sunbathing sound better than working!) DON'T JUDGE ME!

Toodles & Summer kisses!


x___JNF

Class of 2012!

I know I know!!!! *insert long winded explanation here* However my explanation is valid!
It was my last semester in college and as much as I wanted to blog life just wouldn't let me do it!

Anyways here I am a college grad with all of these emotions surging within me. I can't believe four years have passed by so rapidly. All the tears, all the hard work, all the falling down and getting back up, all the allnighters, all of the exams, finals, and so many more things that culminated to me walking across that stage to collect my degree. It felt so good to come out victorious and now here I am laying in bed in the midst of christmas lights and christmas candles with so many plans for my future. That will come into play in the next couple of weeks when I recuperate from these four years in college! (Lol!) Right now what I'm worried about is spending the holidays with all the people whom I love and that's exactly what I've been doing. It feels good to wakeup worry free, not knowing if you're late for class or that an assignment is due tonight and you haven't done it because you had 50 other assignments to do. Don't get me wrong, my undergrad years were the best years of my life. I met some of the most unforgettable people, I learned about myself, about what I was capable of doing and not doing. I learned to sleep less and work more, found a brand new love for coffee and sweats, learned what an allnighter was, and learned what flashcards were! (seriously!!). Overall, I think they passed too fast... Yesterday I was a freshman, today I'm yelling CLASS OF 2012! with 500 other graduates!

Life is good!

XO. JF.

Once a lover, now a COMPLETE stranger.

I know I know! "JAMIE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"
I've been everywhere!
School started and yeaaaa you know the rest...
I have no excuses only valid reasons ;-)


You might be able to tell what I'm going to blog about by the title of my blog post...

Walking amongst people on campus and I see familiar faces and not so familiar faces.
I acknowledge some, disregard others.
Then there's you.
The person who was once the object of all my blogposts.
The person who was intertwined in between every sentence, every word, every letter, every emotion.
Now there's you.
The you I pass on campus and don't acknowledge.
The you I seldom remember your name.
The you I don't know.
The you that gets blurred in between a group of people.
The you, that on those rare ocassions I do look at, gets unfiltered in my mind.
Single handedly you tried to destroy me but you didn't succeed.
What you did succeed on was on permanently excluding yourself from my thoughts.

I once thought that for some crazy reason I would never get over the guy up there.
You all remember him, every one of my blogposts was about him.
But now I see him on campus and he's like a stranger.
A person I've never met.
It's like inception.
The people you see once in your whole entire life and you never see them again but that night you end up having a dream about them and you wonder where the hell have you seen them.
That's him to me.
A fig of my imagination.
It's like he was a person I saw once and somehow had a dream about him.
Our whole "relationship" a dream, then I woke up and now I see him and wonder "where the hell have I seen him?!"
Someone, once, mentioned him to me and I kid you not I couldn't remember who he was.
The person thought I was joking but I really wasn't.
It didn't bother me that I had forgotten his name but I guess someone felt otherwise.
You may be reading this and think that I'm crazy (not that I care less if you think I am!) & trust me I thought about this before blogging about it but this is my blog and I blog about what I want. (I promise I'm not crazy!)

XOXO!

J.F.